Life can change so Fast......

by Freddie Lynn
(Audubon, Iowa)

On August 17th 2012 my whole life changed. It changed in a way that I had tried to prepare for but now know just isn't possible. On that day at 11:13pm my sweet, sweet Mama Dixie Lou Spencer went home to be with her God that she loves so much.
That day I went to Mama's house earlier than I had planned because my own daughter had backed out of plans we had made. I had lost my very best friend of 35 years just 5 days before and really needed my Mama to help me handle that loss. But that day when I got to her house Mama said she just didn't feel right, something was wrong, she felt dizzy and so short of breath. Mama was had been getting hospice care since May of this year after having her 8th heart attack. But this day she did not want me to call the nurse, not yet she said, I'll just try and rest. For the next 4 hours it was up and down just trying to get comfortable until finally she said we had better call the nurse. At 10:30 the nurse decided that Mama needed a transfusion because she was probably anemic. We got to the hospital at 11, they checked the blood, said it was fine but Mamas heart was not pumping asking me what they should do since Mama was DNR.Give her what ever meds will work but nothing else I had to tell them. I remember the look in my Mamas eyes when she thought she was dying, she looked scared. That look haunts me to this day

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Nov 25, 2012
Am I really the only one?
by: Freddie Lynn

Had Thanksgiving at my brothers yesterday. Not one of my 3 brothers or my sister even mention Mama once. When I tried to show them the newsletters I had gotten from the Hospice bereavement no one wanted to see them. Is all I got was "I'm handling it just fine" or "I wish everyone would just leave me alone" Very disappointed that no one wanted to share anything. They have got to be feeling SOMETHING!

Nov 23, 2012
[ Life can change so Fast......]
by: Doreen U.K.

Freddie Lynn I am sorry for your loss of your Mama and your best friend of 35yrs.
Life is so very difficult after we lose the close members of our family.
Grief is so very painful. Not an experience you can imagine. It rips your whole being apart and you wished you didn't feel this bad. It is not this painfull with every person in our life who passes away. It is the close bond that is forged in the family and with friends that rips us apart as if we were cut in two. The struggle in the days ahead will be severe but you will get through it. Who likes Pain? None of us. But this is one we can't avoid. It is sewn into our soul.
Freddie seeing the fear in your mama's face is a very difficult memory to shed. it will prolong your grief, but I think it will fade in time. I had to watch this pain and fear in my husband's face when he died 6 months ago of cancer. He knew for over 3yrs he was going to die, and it was a slow painful death when all he could think of is "When am I going to die." "How long do I have left to live." "What does it feel like to die?" I think it is a kinder death when someone passes away quickly. Even if you didn't get to say good-bye. I didn't get to say good-bye. I couldn't bring myself to let him go. The sweetest, kindest man who walked the earth. I will Miss Him FOREVER.
All any of us can do is grieve and make a difference in our lives towards the loved one's we have left. Savour every moment of that relationship and Love & Live Well.

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