10 losses in 5 years. I' m 23
by Lys cruise
Hello. I have suffered many losses in the past five years. I am 23 years old woman and these are my experiences.
First my next door neighbour she was 32 and died of a brain haemorrhage. Then My friend Ricky he died at 19 in a car crash, then my boyfriends dad of a heart attack. We broke up a year later.
Then my great grandmother. Followed a couple years later by my grandmother who was my best friend and inspiration in life I mourned for her so badly. Loved her beyond belief.
This month my great uncle (who I saw as a close close family member) and my grandad died, at least now my grandad is at peace with my grandma and his mum but still. Also this month my cousin died. And two great aunties. So in the space of 5 years I have lost 10 people close to me in my life.
I did at first feel scared, angry, anxious (who's next!,,) but it's happened so often that I now feel that these things a have happened to me because I can and will get through them. I have (without blowing my own trumpet) an innate way of coping in the face of adversity. It will make me stronger.
One day when I meet the right man and have children I know we will adore them together. And I will adore my grandchildren. But for now at 23 I plan to explore the world, live life to the full and know that all those people I loved can support me now more than ever before. I also plan to spend alot more time with my mum and brother. Life is precious,
Life does go on. It hurts so bad, every time it happened is another blow. But one day my children will live on through me regardless about afterlife beliefs. I believe now in a heaven I have had to many losses plus too many signs to deny its existents. The experiences have helped me to grow spiritually also. But regardless on beliefs systems and philosophies we can all agree we live on through our family, through our blood, through traits and personalities.
Family is a bond, a closeness. It is a gift. I wrote a little something after my grandparents died i would like to share with you ....
As i look into the sky at night i wonder if stars are windows in Heaven where the love of our lost ones shines upon us to let us know they are happy? As i grieve for you passing, that passing sparks memories, those memories become treasures and it is those treasures that will be with me forever.
For anyone that has loved and lost you are not alone. Xxx