11 months since ive seen her and my feelings for her still run deep....

by Matthew Hannah
(Grants Pass, OR)

When i was 17 I met most the most beautiful girl in the world, I thoought she was an angel. My mom died when i was 15 and she helped me get over that as well. We rode the bus together and that was wear we shared our first memorable kiss, After that we fell in love and just didnt look back, Her parents inivited me for dinner to meet them and from what it looked like they thought i was ok but i found out that they werent too keen on me..Our relationship continued to grow as high as it gets we told each other forever and that we would get married and have kids and we even said the two best letters or best the best math question ever m+j, We were madly in love with each other right in to 4 1/2 months of dating her parents noticed that she was focused with me that it was affecting her attitude, and right after school ended her mom had a talk with me she told me that she had a hundred black friends (because i am half black) and that to be careful in case it doesnt work out. When summer started we would only see each other once a week and would talk on the on the phone mostly (cause neither of us drove) and then after that i bought her a cell phone so we could talk through the night, It was beautiful we talked til about 6 in the morning one time 4 days after i gave it to her, her parents found out and got really mad and then they took it away and wanted to have a talk with me, So they said that we should cool off and take a break, after that i waited about a week and a half and then i called her house and parents said that she was better off without me and wouldnt even let her get on the phone, i was devastated through summer and then school came again i was a senior and she was a sophomore. We talked on the first day and she wanted to just be friends for awhile but i didnt and we broke up completely and she went home crying that day and her dad called my dad and i got yelled at... about 3 weeks pass she's trying to hang with another guy but it just isnt working so we finally talk and it was great and after that we started hanging out regularly again, we went to homecoming and it was the best dance or experience ive ever had, she was the happiest girl in the world, we even had these things called BDE'S (best day ever) I was falling in love again we kissed everyday after awhile i went to her house and it went great but then her dad says that i wasnt confident enough and that im a problem and then from their we were on and off, One day jan 20th we had a great day but then nightime came and the day after at school i saw her crying and i asked what was wrong and she told me her dad died the night before due to a heart attack. I was stunned and shocked and i felt bad for her cause i knew what she was going through, after leaving her alone for about 6 days, she told me she wanted me their again and i was, we were starting to go on and off but then once again it was the end of school and she decided to breakup with me, all through i gave her, her space and what not and she posted on my facebook wall that she cared and that she thinks of me all the time, when school came back i had to do one more trimester of credits cause i was graduating late and i decided not to go their cause i didnt want to cause her any stress but she wanted someone their and i didnt go after that we would message but they were only like stressed out thinking about eachother msgs and i wished her merry christmas when no one else did and isaid good morning to when no one else did, the she started hanging with my good friend i used to live with and she stated telling him all kinds of stuff just to make me jealous then when he left school(graduating early) she started talking to my other close friend why I dont know, recently ive been msging her but she wont respond, i bought her a $150 necklace for valentines day but never gave it to her and I know she wants someone to make her happy and i know that I love her very much i, i think she's the most beautiful girl in the world and i dont feel i can ever get over her so any suggestions would be nice.....

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