11 months

by Eric J. Shadowens Sr.

Well today 09/16/2011 marks 11 months that you been gone.
It still seems like yesterday I set in the hospital and watch
with tears in my eyes as you melted away.I remember the day we went to the hospital you were so weak you couldn't walk so I found a wheelchair to take you up to the room that you would
never leave alive. I knew you were very sick but the way you all ways fought I just new you would win again. But god had other plans for you and they were to come and be in is Garden Of Love and Peace. So here I sat on this a very sad day for me knowing you are at peace and no more pain. But the pain today is as bad as it was on 10/16/2010 when at 11:27 P.M. you went away to Heaven. I know there are things i'm doing now that you may thank are crazy and yes I'm not in my right mind and it may be a long time coming back. There is one thing that will never change that's my "LOVE FOR YOU JUDY".


Comments for 11 months

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Sep 21, 2011
by: Zoe

We do not want to move away from that day, the closer we stay to it the closer we are to them to the time we could still touch them and hold them.
Time pushes us forward, time makes us function somehow and change, while grief is throwing us against the wall making our footing unsure as we try to stumble forward without them.
We fall, we cry, we rage at the universe, then we are forced to try and stand again.
Grief changes as it passes, just as it changes us.
You will never be the person you were before she was gone, she was a part of you, now that part is missing.
You will find your footing, and in those moments of despair, know that your beautiful wife is with you, I believe that, because I cannot believe anything else.
and when all else fails
One breath, One step, One day at a time

Sep 19, 2011
11 months
by: judith in California

Eric, how sweet the memories . It's refreshing to see a man write of his love for his wife. We have so many wives who were left behind and we read of their experiences here more often than from men. This is a most difficult journey and so close to that "year mark". We know the grief doesn't stop it just lessens with time. Our tears flow from losing our loves and for all the loving moments we will no longer share . It's a horrible place to be.

I have just met my one year and even to I'm okay more days than maybe four months ago it still hurts so much.

May you find the peace we all search for one step, one breath one day at a time.

Sep 17, 2011
You Are Not Alone
by: TrishJ

We here all know the pain only too well. That empty void. The stabbing pain that supposedly eases in time. The darkness....hoping for just a little peak of sunshine to pop through. I think most of my grief comes from fear. Fear of having to face this cold and cruel world without my husband by my side. With him I could do anything. We did everything together. Now I have to face every day without him. I don't know if it helps for you to know but you aren't alone. We on this site are here for those who grieve. Only those of us who have lost our true loves knows what it feels like. What I would give to just spend one more day, in the hospital, holding my husband's hand. Just being together is what I miss most of all. Hearing "I love you honey." Just one more time.
God bless Eric. We say on this site, one breath, one step at a time. That's all we can do.

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