12 years old is too young to lose your Dad

by Robyn Jacobson
(Ft Worth, TX, USA)

Although I'm now a woman in my 50's, I still grieve for the loss of my Dad nearly 43 years ago. I was 12, he was only 50, and it was a sudden & unexpected heart attack. I grieved for him and missed him So much as I became a teen-ager, went to college (the same one he did) I looked for substitute men in my life, but I kept coming back to the fact that my Dad was one in a million--kind to me, my Mom, everybody he came into contact with. He was loving and involved in my life and therefore left a much larger void than your "typical" dad of that era. Not only did I miss him, but I missed 'having a father'...in high school, to take me to college, and when I got married. I've been married, I have grown children, but I still feel an empty space where I just miss everything he was to me.

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Jun 02, 2014
12 years old is too young t lose your Dad
by: Doreen UK

You lost a father at a very delicate age and time of life when you still needed your father's nurturing. It perhaps has left a VOID in your life that can never be filled. No matter what you do in life you will always feel deprived of those years when you needed him. Your father died a sudden death and you wouldn't have had time to prepare for what grief was and how it would affect your life. It is possible to see a counsellor years later and feel some release from memories that been repressed. You may be able to find peace and acceptance and a way forward that is manageable. Many people don't deal with grief. They store it up, keep busy, and it goes underground only to start pressing for resolution later in life. I went into counselling in my 40's and resolved a lot of my losses and even though all I felt was pain and a lot of disorientation, one day I woke up and felt different. HEALED to a point where I never felt so unhappy again. I felt Peace for the first time. I managed life better and developed skills that I could use to manage many trials. You don't resolve everything. But you reach a point that you are able to survive well without the hurt of the past. I am always saddened at young people losing a father at such a young tender age and having to go on living and struggling with their emotions and feelings they can't understand.

Jun 01, 2014
Dear Robyn,
by: Anonymous

I lost my father a little over a year ago, when I was 46 years old. Even though my grief is still relatively new, I know that this emptiness will last the rest of my lifetime, and the void will always be there. My father was a very sweet man, and we had the best relationship a father/daughter could have. My parents had a lovely marriage, and I was blessed to have had a lovely childhood as well. I cherish my memories, but am always sad thinking about the future without him. I am sorry that you are hurting - I hope you will be able to find some comfort here. You are not alone. Hugs, Barb

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