13 reason's for Father's day pride

by Susan Valdepena
(Kansas city mo. 64131)

The title of this story was in the Kansas City Star in 1956, Three years after my Mother passed away from Cancer. Really this story should have been about her and her life. She was married and divorced before she met my Dad at a dance hall. They both met there, my Father was able to get in this dance hall because he was Mexican but he was very light skinned his friends weren't so lucky.
They were turned away because they were dark complected and they, the people who took tickets didn't let them in.
You would have thought my Dad would have went back out with his friends but he didn't.
Anyway, my Dad and Mom met there at the dance hall. I don't know how long they knew each other before they got married. I wonder if she knew what would happen to her I wonder if she would have married my Dad.
After they were married my Mom started to have Children many of them exactly 13 of them by my Father but, she had a a child by her first Husband. He, my hald Brother has passed now he died in 2004. Well, I never knew my Mother I was three years old and, had a younger Brother that was fifteen months old when she passed away.

My older Sister who is 75 now tells me many stories of my Mother and I think of her often and wonder how she would have been as I grew to be and older woman. I was her thirteenth child born out of her womb, being that my younger Brother was my Fathers thirteenth child of his seed.
Remember She Already had a child, a boy from her first marriage.
She went through hell with all of us, her life couldn't have been very happy. She was always pregnant every senteen months. There were a pair of twins but it just made her life just more complicated. I can go to my sun room and read a book or read a paper or can get in my car and take a drive on a summer's day but, Mom never could.
Dad had a split shift. He would leave in the morning and at about 10:00am and get back home at 3:30pm and get back to work at about 7:00pm then home again by 1:am.
Mom was all alone with her first 9 children when they took Dad to fight in WWII. She had to live on coupons and rations.
How could any one live on that now and, even then it was very hard for my Mother. She was always in the kitchen and she made sure all of her Children ate and had a snack before they went to bed. My Dad was illegal but he went to fight for his citizen ship papers. At that time they were even taking men out of the jails and making them fight then, they had to take there chances to die for there country or not to die and come back and not be jailed again.

Well after my Dad came home from the war He started getting Mom pregnant again first a boy then a girl and, another girl and the youngest boy. A lady once told me and my Sister who was fifteen months older than I was, A Doctor told my Mom and Dad to stop having Children that it could have Mom to get sick but, in those times (in the 40s and 50s) men ruled there wives...Dad didn't listen and when Mom had me the Doctors saw something and told her to get back in there and get it fixed.

We were never told what they saw but, when Mom came home with me she already had a little girl who was still in diapers and a almost five year old boy. and the rest were young. At that time there was a brother who was the first born but he was well, not retarded but different. Well, Mom never went back in to get what ever she had to get fixed and, Dad got her pregnant again with his thirteenth child which was a boy. After that Mon would always get sick and my older Sister took care of the three little ones.

My Sister, me and, my younger Brother. To think that she was starting to get sick after she had my younger Brother. I never knew a Mom who ever kissed me or held me or sang songs to me and, probably my Sister and my younger Brother didn't either. Now I wonder those things if she ever had time just time to be a woman to go shopping like a lot of the women did in those days.
I wonder again if she ever read or, had the time to read books because, most of us do read a lot, especially me. I wonder if she would have loved me and the other two children before she died. She had the last born in 1951, just one book? Any way something should have been written about her and what she went through.
Her last born she was 39 going on 40, She got sick right after that and passed away in 1953. I always felt I had the worst luck but, I figured Mom would have loved me if she hadn't got sick----and I thought Dad should have helped her and got someone in the house to help out while she went back into the hospital to get whatever she got fixed. She was operated on to late and the Doctors opened her up and closed her up because her cancer was too agressive and, all they did was let her go home to die...Mom, I love her but never knew her but, think the paper in our town should have been about her

I love you Mom. You are definately my hero.

Comments for 13 reason's for Father's day pride

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Jun 07, 2012
Loved, Cherished, & feeling lost
by: Doreen England U.K.

Dear Susan
What a lovely story you have given of some of your life and your sorrow for not having known your Mum or the bonding you wish you had with her and your father caught up in the business of keeping a family together but yet having to fight a battle for the country.
You sound like a lost soul with just the wonder of where you fit in and all the questions of needing to know your history as it is about Your Life.
Everyone wants to know about their history and how they fitted into the family especially if they never knew their parents very well or didn't have the chance to exchange conversation or life stories. You may only be able to get that from your parents relatives.
Your father was Mexican. I am fascinated by Mexico for a long time and wish I could visit there. I grew up In Scotland and I faced racial prejudice that affected my life way into adulthood and blighted my life and I passed on my inferior feelings to my children. Life can be cruel and often leaves scars. Salvage what you can from your history and be proud of who you are.
Grief will rock our world and out will come all the things we couldn't resolve or the complexity of where we came from and how we fit into life.
Parents Love their children but it seems your mother was caught up in the cycle of caring for an immense family that she perhaps could not give all her children the individual care they needed so some might feel they weren't loved. This is a natural part of grief. If you are a loving person then you got it from your parents. Hold onto that. Build relationships that can build respect and honour and forge out your own history that you can pass on and that won't be lost because you know little of your own.
I think you are a lovely person. It comes across in your inquiring mind and your love of the Mother you didn't really know.
Be Happy and keep being the lovely person you are. I hope you find the answers you are looking for and your story can be passed on for others to know about you. Best wishes

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