13 weeks and getting worse

My dad died 13 weeks ago and each day is harder than the day before. He'd been unwell for a few months but we didn't think it was anything serious and he was only diagnosed 2 weeks before he died. I miss him so much. I'm a single parent and had my daughter at 19. My dad was a massive support to me. I don't think id be where I am today without him. I just want him back. I'm 34 but feel like a child at the moment. It's so hard getting up each day and if it wasn't for my daughter I don't know where I'd be now. I'm so tired of hearing 'it gets easier with time' or 'it's all part of the process'. I'm so angry and have never felt loneliness like this. No one understands.

Comments for 13 weeks and getting worse

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Aug 24, 2014
13 weeks and getting worse
by: Doreen UK

Anger is a very important part of grief that is often viewed differently by everyone. We each have different histories and life's experiences. Not knowing what to expect of grief or how painful it would be.
My daughter is almost 34yrs. and lost her father 2yrs. ago to cancer. She could not function for some time and found work difficult. Losing a husband of 44yrs. was my worst experience and I was angry at the cancer, and the universe for such a cruel disease that is endemic. One of my 4 sisters told me also that "It gets better in time". I didn't want to hear this statement. The timing was inappropriate. But it helped me have Hope that I would recover in time. It still hurts, but not as much as those early days. I could not function for 6 full months. I nurtured myself back into life. I looked for ways to go on in life embracing those days I couldn't. If I felt like doing NOTHING. That is what I did. Took to the couch and bathed myself in TV and fast oven food to keep myself going for my daughter. My reason to live now. For her. Not the life I expected or deserved. My husband worked hard all his life as men do for his family for 47yrs. of his working life. Just when he is about to retire and enjoy his life he earned. HE DIED. There is a cruelty in life and in the universe that many men die at this crucial time of their life when they should be enjoying life, even for what it is. DIFFICULT. I want my husband back. But I know it won't happen so I try to make the best out of what I have left. ONE DAY AT A TIME is all I have and can cope with even after 2yrs. of grieving. For now I hold onto Hope and My Faith in God to take me through. I am sorry for your loss of your Dad.

Aug 23, 2014
I feel your pain
by: Germell

I know what you're going through, I lost my mother on July 3, (7 weeks ago). Since she's died I feel like I've been on a roller coaster ride I can't get off! My mom was my heart, she was only 62 years old, but had been sick for 9 years. My suggestion to you, if you have faith and believe in God, look to him for strength. Pray and ask him for peace, comfort and acceptance of your fathers death. I'm not going to tell you what others have, because quite frankly, I hear the words too and it doesn't make the pain any better. I will add you to the list of all the people who have lost someone dear to them, although I don't know your name, God does! Be blessed through your journey to healing.

Aug 23, 2014
grief and bereavement
by: Anonymous

It does get worse before it gets better. After one year, I can definitely say that I feel so much better. It is a long journey through a dark tunnel, but there is light at the end of it. My prayers are with you- you will be ok. Take plenty of time for yourself, your whole life has changed forever because one of the people you love the most is gone forever.

Aug 23, 2014
I no your pain
by: Christina

It's only been 5 weeks since I lost my 19 year old son. And yes every day is getting harder and harder I agree with you about getting angry when people say that it's gonna get better in time cause it's not. I am sorry to hear about your loss and I no that saying is also old just no ur not alone I here with you my baby boy passed away an exact month till his 20th birthday august 16th was my boys birthday. He wrecked a 4 wheeler and it crushed him I am so lost without him

Aug 23, 2014
by: Anonymous

We are sorry for your loss. You're still early in your grief. If youre so tired of hearing it gets easier with time then our hands or tied to offer you much hope. Time is your best friend now. Your Daughter is your best focus. You don't want to end up sick and not be able to take care of her. You are her parent now and what you show her about grief she will remember. Loss is a part of living and when it happens to us we are hurt for our loss. Our loved ones go on to heaven to be at peace with God with no more suffering or strife. Yes, it's hard. The grief process takes time and is an emotional roller coaster ride. You will feel worse at times so just feel sad if you need to, cry if you need to and cry until you feel there are no more tears. For those of us who have gone before you we know it does get easier to cope with time, but we had to do it one minute , one hour, one day at a time.

So please understand that we understand and we pray that God will give you strength to endure this loss and get to the peaceful and acceptance side of it.

Aug 23, 2014
13 weeks and getting worse
by: Jane

First I want to tell you all my sorry for loosing your Dad. It seems to be that your Dad was same to you like my Mom to me. I think it doesn´t matter how old you are when your parents die, you´ll always will feel like a little 3 year old child, who cries: " I want my Mom/Dad back. That is the little child into us. who every body has got in his Soul. But some People has coverd it with a lot of thoughts and Problems. But it is still there. And this little child inside of us, will not hear all this crazzy stuff from the stupid adults. It only wants his Daddy coming back home and he Shell hold you in his arms again. Sometimes it would be much better People saying nothing and just take you in their arms. They are helpless and don´t think and don´t know what they are saying. Just listen to the Words your Soul want´s to hear and feels good with it. the other words just let them passing by. Don´t even answer it. They never felt this pain of grieving. They just don´t know it better. God will send you People on your side who will understand your grieving.Don´t get angry, Anger is taking you so much power of you, and you will need now much off it for all the grieving time. Just live one dy after the other and don´t think about tomorrow. I will pray for you and may God comfort you. Feel your self hugged. Much love. Jane

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