15 Months since my 18 yr old left this world 9/10/2012

by Liz
(Erie,Pa)





Andrew was a caring & loving young man. Andrew had such a big heart. He was the type of person, he was always a people pleaser. Andrew just finished High School. He was deciding what he wanted to do, as he always talked about going into the medical field.
Everything changed on September 9,2012. It was a Sunday afternoon and I was trying to get in touch with Andrew. I called his cell phone numerous times, I knew in my heart something was wrong. Finally, I received a call from a friend of Andrew's... Asking if I were still looking for him? She then proceeded to tell me that I would be able to find my son at Wal mart. I thought why, why would he be at Wal-Mart? My husband and I went up to where he was. I walked up to a his car, as he was laying lifeless, eyes rolling into his head. I immediately called 911. I at this point was not sure what was going on.. Once I was able to get my son out of his car. I was mortified, I had so many why's running thru my head. Andrew did get transported to a hospital where they specialized in drugs and alcohol and must of all Mental Health. Andrew needed 2 of these things. (1) being he was very depressed and (2) he had a history with other drug abuse.
Once we arrived at the Hospital, they took my son vitals- Andrew's blood pressure was so high, pulse also was high. He even seemed to look blue around his lips. I kept questioning why would you make my son sit in the waiting room when he needed medical attention. He sat there next to me in a blank stare. He did tell me I'm just depressed, I already did know that because Andrew's medical Dr. already had him on depression meds. He said that he needs help. Everything changed when we met this Dr. in the Emergency room. He came into the room that they finally called Andrew back. The doctor came in introduced himself as the ER intern- DO.
He never ordered any blood work, x-rays, etc. I asked the Doctor, are you going to check Andrews lungs, being that you can plainly see he looks blue. also his blood pressure is high. He then just ignored me and said Andrew is an adult so he would have to talk to him. The Doctor proceeded to ask Andrew questions and Andrew said that he wanted to come in the hospital willingly because he needed help. The had a Doctor quickly turned and said to Andrew, I feel there is no reason to keep you in the hospital- only being the type of thing you were doing leaves your body as fast as you take it in. I then began to argue with the Dr. And the Doctor said if I admit him in the hospital and I feel there is nothing I can medically treat him...he will be responsible for all medical bills. ( Keep in mind, we had excellent health and hospital coverage.) Well, Andrew was released
from the hospital. We took him home. Andrew was very pale and was very sick to his stomach. He went to bed,by morning he was still sick. His face had a gray look to it. I asked him if I could make him some breakfast, he replied with a no. I did it anyway. I decided to make him a poached eggs. Andrew did eat them, he then turned and said "ma" I never realized 2 eggs could fill you up like these eggs did today". I said are you still hungry? He, replied- "no". I then had a phone call from my daughter whom needed picked up from school. I asked Andrew to take a ride with me, he said "no, if I do anything, it will be to take a walk and clear my head" I said please stay home. I had to leave and when I came home Andrew was gone. I had this horrible sick feeling, By 4:20 that day, I received a call saying my son was found in the creek down the street from my house, he was laying face down. He passed. I am so angry. I feel everyone failed my son, including myself. My son needed help and no one would do anything for him. I have so much un-easiness everyday. I live in the should of's, would-a coulda's . My life has for ever changed. Andrew died less then 19hrs of trying to get admitted into help at the hospital. Our life have forever changed. Christmas is approaching and I have no energy. I feel lost, I cant function, I put no tree up. My world seems so lonely. I get so much anxiety when the thought of Andrew never being with us will forever torture us. I am waiting for him to come thru-the door. I can not except that I failed you. I was supposed to protect you and I let this Dr. Neglect you. I will never forgive myself or will I ever get over this. I play this over and over every day. I will never stop loving you Andrew!



































Comments for 15 Months since my 18 yr old left this world 9/10/2012

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Dec 27, 2013
Your son
by: Anonymous

I'm also a grieving mom. I did not put a tree, and just wanted to get through the day. This is the first without him. He was depressed and had an overdose in April of 2013. We all tried to help him, but I am quilt ridden because we failed to help him. I too blame others, and I blame myself, even though I really did try. I too feel like my life will always be lived with sadness and regret. I miss him so much, and wish I could go back in time and change things. He meant everything to me.

Dec 26, 2013
I am so sorry
by: Kelly

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful child. I understand the pain of the holidays and everyday we go on without our children with us. My 11 year old daughter took a walk with a friend last October 2012. They went to a place they were not allowed to go ( she disobeyed, as children sometimes do). They climbed a hill in our park just a block from the house. She fell from the top of the peak and died the next day of her head injury. She leaves behind parents , a brother, and her twin sister. We all miss her and I daily blame myself for giving her permission to go for a walk. I know the self doubt and the anger you expressed. Please know that I grieve with you, for the loss of your child, and for all of us in this terrible club that none of wanted to join.

Dec 25, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

Oh my God, I'm so sorry you lost your dear son!! The story is so sad. I lost my son a year ago and I am struggling to live a lot of times I feel so empty yet pain and sorrow abide.
I don't like my new life without my son in it. It is very difficult . I can feel your loss and wish I could help but we struggle on our own and no one can help. My heart goes out to you for your loss of Andrew. Another mother who knows the depth of death.
So sorry.

Dec 25, 2013
So sorry
by: Understanding friend.

Dear friend, please accept my condolences on the loss of your handsome, caring son.
You must stop blaming yourself. You were wonderful and did not cause the neglect. This lies with the doctor who ignored your pleas.

My brother was neglected after an operation. I know how difficult it can be when we are in a crisis for the medical profession to hear us.

Wishing you increased comfort. You sound like a wonderful mum.

X

Dec 25, 2013
sorry for your heartache
by: barb

i don't know what happened was from od or something physical...it floors me the dr wouldn't do something... i think they get so angry at trying to save lives and feel that some take life for granted specially with drugs..when i was trained as a paramedic years ago..we were taught that someone on drugs (more so alcohol) back then or head injury.. they are not responsible to make their own decisions.. they are to be treated under the assumption that they would want treatment if able to ask for it..i took my son to er for oding and it just seemed like there was no rush to get treatment..im thinking cripes we need to stop the absorption of more of the drug,,,im so sorry for your loss and your heartache,,,barb

Dec 25, 2013
Your son
by: Anonymous

Im so very sorry for your loss. What a handsome boy. I understand lost. From the very moment we were told our beautiful full of life 22year old daughter was killed while out on her morning run I feel as if we had been sentenced to the remaining days of our lives. I also did not put up a tree as every year she and I would pick out the biggest one we could find and hull it home. I plan on locking the door and turning off my phone , I just want to get the day over with.
I don't even know what to Say as we all know there are no comforting words for a grieving mother. We all want our children back and do not know how to function without them. I can not fathom doing this the rest of my life. You loved him and he knew that. Again, i am so very sorry.

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