15 years and loss of three grandparents...

by Emily

10 years ago I was 5 years old and had everything I could of wanted.
but just 3 years after in 2004 I experienced my first loss,
my dad's dad had been ill for a while and at first we all thought it was something minor but then
we had a call off my Uncle saying my Grandad was in hospital, I was a little worries but not to much because my Grandad was a fighter and he was active so he would be fine. I could
never have been more wrong, My dad came back and told me my Grandad had cancer
and it was incurable,they said he had it for at least two years and within four hours of that news he had died. He was just 63.
Then within 15 months of that my mom's mom died. She had been ill ever since I was 4 years old from emphysema, I got to say goodbye to her and even at 9 years old I knew she was going to die but I didn't cry until I got out of the hospital and that was the last time I saw her because she died the next day. My beautiful Nan and my best friend had gone and I wouldn't be able to see her ever again it broke my heart in two :(
Then 2 months ago my Grandad who is my mom's dad died unexpectadly.
He was 86 years old and he was the best Grandad ever, he was kind,loyal,loving and so caring- he was the kindest man I had ever ever
met. The warden in his flat called my Mom and said they had found him asleep but said that they thought he had passed away in his sleep :(
The coroner said it was a mixture of ischeamic heart disease and that his heart had worn out.
I really don't know what to do, I have lost so much and I know it will only get worse as I grow up
my mom has been my rock throughout and I couldn't be without her.
I blame myself all the time thinking if I would of done this and if I wouldn't of done that then they would all still be here especially my Grandad, I am so angry aswell because my family didn't deserve it we are nice people who never did a thing wrong and yet my friends moan about their
grandparents and they are so lucky to still have theirs :(
I would give anything to spend one more
day with my gorgeous grandparents and I love them so so much!!!

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