15 years is hard to let go of

by Louise

I was 19 when we first got together, 22 when we got married, separated at 24 reconciled at 26, separated again at 31 reconciled at 32 now separated at 33 will be divorced at 34-35 years old another reconciliation would break me.

I left a bad situation but it doesn't mean I hate him on the contrary I wish he loved me a little bit more then maybe I could have endured the the alcoholic he was and all the mess that brings. If he had just met me a quarter of the way I would've accepted that but it wasn't meant to be.

We separated this last time 10 months ago when I left him he found someone else after only a month of me leaving but fidelity was one of the problems in our marriage.

I still cry and grieve for what could and should have been and the pain is still present even though I'm feeling relieved I no longer live in fear. I sit and wonder when it all went wrong.

Pain and hurt is all part of the process and I feel tired just wish I could wake up and that pain was not piercing my heart.

Comments for 15 years is hard to let go of

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Aug 29, 2013
15 years is hard to let go of
by: Doreen U.K.

Louise I am so sorry for your loss of your marriage. This is such a painful experience. Infidelity in a marriage is not something to recover from easily. If alcohol is a strong problem it will be very hard to be reconciled unless the person moves into sobriety. As you say he has moved on to someone else. This may be his pattern of behaviour and so their is nothing you could have done. You made a huge effort to keep being reconciled to this man. There comes a time when enough is enough and you can do no more. there has to be co-operation from your husband to make it worth your while trying to work things out. Then comes the acceptance that you are facing now. Try and get some counselling for yourself so that you can become stronger in the areas you are weak and accept that you did your best and sometimes it is not enough. Counselling will help build up your self esteem which is always at a low when a marriage ends. Life is so very difficult today on marriages. The family is becoming more difficult to save.
I lost my husband to cancer 15 months ago. It is a relief knowing that I didn't lose him to another woman. This is always a woman's worse fear. Losing the man she loves. I lost the only man I ever loved. This has become my worst fear. Living alone now without his presence in my life. I wish you deep Healing from your broken marriage and every success on getting your life back. Don't put your life on hold. In time you will be able to pick up your life and perhaps find true happiness. Don't ever rule this out. Keep Positive and happiness will come your way.

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