15 years is hard to let go of
I was 19 when we first got together, 22 when we got married, separated at 24 reconciled at 26, separated again at 31 reconciled at 32 now separated at 33 will be divorced at 34-35 years old another reconciliation would break me.
I left a bad situation but it doesn't mean I hate him on the contrary I wish he loved me a little bit more then maybe I could have endured the the alcoholic he was and all the mess that brings. If he had just met me a quarter of the way I would've accepted that but it wasn't meant to be.
We separated this last time 10 months ago when I left him he found someone else after only a month of me leaving but fidelity was one of the problems in our marriage.
I still cry and grieve for what could and should have been and the pain is still present even though I'm feeling relieved I no longer live in fear. I sit and wonder when it all went wrong.
Pain and hurt is all part of the process and I feel tired just wish I could wake up and that pain was not piercing my heart.