by millbill

Today is the day my soul mate passed 1 year ago.I cant believe
its been a whole year yet it seems like yesterday.
I remember holding his hand,telling him how much I loved him
Wanting him to let go yet knowing how hard that would be for me
we still had a lifetime to live together,wed only been married 5
years still in our 40s why now?why us?I grieve for what we didn't share,for the happiness we did,for how much I miss you still.
My husband and I were 2 people so alike trying to find our
place in this world knowing no one really understood us.
I will continue to fight thru this world for both of us.
As I continue my journey thru life alone as unless you've been there you really don't know what us survivors go thru I
hope I will make him proud.I will continue to remember
with joy and tears and always I will know how deeply this man
has touched my soul.

Comments for 1year

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Dec 21, 2012
Thinking of You
by: Elle

Dear Millbill,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband and soulmate. How desperately hard this first anniversary must be for you. It will be a year next month since my husband passed away. I, like you, don't know where the time has gone or how I have managed somehow to manage to exist during that time one day at a time.

It's hard, hard to go on alone, but one thing we can be sure of forever and ever is the love our husbands held in their hearts for us. I remember so well my husband often saying, "Never forget that I love you with all of my heart." I hold onto that.

Some days that are particularly hard, as I go outside to get the dog in, I see the backyard arbor upon which my husband strung blue and white lights. I look at those lights, and I say, "You've got to help me, George. I'm not doing too well without you." I always believe that he hears me, and that give me just enough strength to get through one more day.

I'm thinking about you and praying for you, Millbill. May you be comforted. Please remember that you are not alone. We walk this diffcult road of grief along side of you. If you were here now, I would give you a hug, make you some relaxing hot tea (but only if you like it), and we would talk way into the night.

Sending you much love,


Dec 20, 2012
1 year
by: Doreen U.K.

Millbill & S. Hatch. I know how you feel. I am with you in this same place. Wondering how I got through the day. How I am going to get through the next day. Not wanting to. But having no choice. The earth is claiming our husbands/wives. We are left with so much Sorrow. The pain is unbearable and we have to bear it whether we want to or not. It has been thrust upon us. I still feels unreal to me that I lost the man I loved for over 47yrs. Married 44yrs.
Recovery is not going to be any time soon. Even if Life is a Gift from God I cannot Cherish this Gift just now. Not whilst in so much Pain of Grief. It is like a slow hemorrhage.
I wish for all of you Peace and Comfort in the midst of your Sorrow and Grief. Feel my hug around you all as we embrace our Sorrow together.
May you all get through this Season and Christmas as best as you can. May the New Year hold better days for all of us.

Dec 20, 2012
I'm sorry for your lost
by: Anonymous

How beautiful just keep that thought and remember his with you always he hasn't left, God bless you!

Dec 20, 2012
I Know
by: S.Hatch

I feel your pain. The pressure in your chest, the ache in your heart.The total emptiness knowing there will not be a warm hand in yours or strong arms around you this day, yesterday or any day. The planning day to day. Now with Christmas, the shopping you did together, seeing cuples of your age laughing and holding hands in the mall.It's too hard. Christmas won't be here this year. The date my husband died so suddenly was New Years Day. One year ago The day of resolutions and planing. I feel no resason to get up or go to sleep which is very hard. I don't know what day it is and I really don't care,
Every holiday for the past year has been devastating. But I think Christmas is the worst, I don't know they all pretty well suck. I have cried everyday several times a day for an entire year. If I could stop doing that I would in a heart beat. I know my husband would not want me to be confined in this house and be so very sad and scared, but I do and I hate it. We were married for 42 years. We had just bought a new trailer and truck to start traveling last summer. It was so hard to sell our dreams.
I know how you feel, I truely do.

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