2. Brothers and a sister

by Jan
(Canada)

I am left after having lost my little sister 5 years old and two brothers both 59 .
I feel abandoned and lonely. No one knows me like these siblings. The history of our lives together
Is left for me to remember without their support. I miss their voices. Their faces, their smiles, their personalities. My mother died last January. 20 days later my brother hung himself. 6 years earlier my oldest brother drowned in a river after his car crashed. He was my closest bro. We were alike in many ways. My little sister died in a train crash that also killed my father. I was 11. I feel like my life has been full of death, violent death. I am divorced and have two great kids. They are wonderful.
God has given me amazing gifts. I am grateful to be alive . I am a survivor and people tell me I am strong. Really and truly I feel weak. Tossed like a wave. What I know is that I can't dwell on their deaths. I have to keep moving forward. Thankfully I have a job that I love and great friends.
These are the gifts. My kids are a constant source of wonder and life!
I don't know why things happen, I am vulnerable and fragile yet in the face of all of this I know there is a God who gives me peace and I know my family is at peace.

Comments for 2. Brothers and a sister

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Oct 28, 2013
2. Brothers and a sister
by: Doreen UK

Jan what an amazing person you are full of having a strong positive mind set and good strong values. It doesn't matter how positive you are you are still very human with feelings and emotions and often they give expression in ways we find confusing. It is normal. You have to let these feelings run their course. Bad things happen because we live in a fallen sinful world and God has to let it run its course till he comes back as he promised in the Bible to re-unite us with our loved ones. BUT. You did not cause your circumstances and you are dealing with this the best way you can. You are not dwelling on the deaths but you also have to give them recognition because they happened and they affected your life in many ways. You have sustained a HUGE LOSS. You are entitled to feel sad and lonely and upset on days when memories may come back or be triggered by life's events. Your family is part of your History. You can't deny this otherwise you would be denying your existence and Who you are! Cry, scream, shout if you feel like it. Expressing grief is normal and human. You have 4 losses to deal with. Perhaps a good counsellor can allow you to express your feelings and you may be surprised at what you may have not dealt with through losing 4 members of your family in such a tragic way. Your siblings were close to you and you had a functional life with them. You grew up with them and forged a relationship with each one that is special and different from those we have with our children. I am sorry for all your losses and May God comfort you and give you His Peace.

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