2 months, 1 week and 3 days
My partner of 14 years died on October 11, 2012. She had been ill for awhile but I had no idea of the serious nature of her condition. Cindy died suddenly at home. Her sweet generous heart just gave out on her. Cindy was my everything. She was my constant companion, my rock, the only stable force in my life. I'm not at all sure how to go on.
I vacillate between being angry with God for taking her away from me and being grateful for the 14 years we had together. I'm grateful for God's support during this most horrific time of my life on one hand and cuss Him out on the other for taking her way to soon. Cindy was only 59!
The worst part about the "5 stages of grief" is when they all conspire at once to drive me insane! The pain feels unbearable and I'm not quite sure how to walk though life anymore. I'm scared, lonely, confused, angry, depressed, and just plain nuts!! In a good moment I can hold on to the well intentioned "it will get better" that I keep hearing.