2 months and I still cry

by Kimberly
(Ontario )

It's been two months since my grandfather passed away with pancreatic cancer. I miss him so much and I can't stop thinking about him. I'm writing this because I just had a major break down and I don't know what to do. I remember going to see him everyday when he was in the hospital and I feel like he's still there and I just haven't seen him in a while. I feel like I'm lying to myself because I think he's still alive. This is the first time I have ever talked about my grandfather. I feel scared to tell my parents about this and I don't know what to do. I miss you so much grandpa

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Aug 27, 2014
Same thing here... :/
by: Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel. My grandfather passed away two months ago, too, because of a liver cancer.
We shared so many memories together. I'm eighteen and quit college to take care of him... Now I have been admitted to an even better university and am living in a different city, but all this happened after he was gone. I am happy about these positive changes, but I would change it all just to have him back.
I cry myself to sleep everyday and still wish for him to pick up the phone... It's also hard to be there for my grandma without crying.
Please comment on this post if you need help. Be strong... We have to be.

Jul 24, 2014
Me to
by: Anonymous

I'm, the same way with the death of my mother. She transitioned April 23, 2014. Sometimes I forget that she is gone. I often time pick up the phone to call her or stop by the nursing home. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. Other times I wish I was with her in heaven.

Jul 24, 2014
2 months and I still cry
by: Doreen UK

Kimberley you sound scared of the way you feel and if there is something wrong with you because you had a breakdown, and you still feel as if your grandfather is still alive. There is nothing wrong with you and a great many of us have shared having the same feelings. Some people call it a meltdown, and to think your loved one is still alive is called DENIAL. The body and minds way of coping with death. Our emotions go into shock and we can't process the death and what happened. We didn't know how grief felt, and what to expect. Being on this site we have all learned from each other by our own life's experiences though different, but all similar in content and feelings. Crying is good grief and will happen spontaneously, and stop the same way and happen all over again till it gets less over time.
Please don't suffer in silence and lead your family to think you are O.K. and coping. If you can't talk to your parents fearing what they might think then go and see a grief counsellor. But see some one. Grief can be overwhelming. Your parents support may be just what you need just now. Be guided by the atmosphere of everyone grieving and when to share how you feel. There are no set rules on how to grieve and for how long. You will not be able to control your emotions so don't bottle these up and repress them as it only gets worse.

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