2 parents in 2 days

by Jackie
(Phoenix )

On the night of November 1st I noticed my dad was acting strange not himself
And wasn't quite there. He had just gotten out of the hospital the day before and
Was living with us for the last 4 months since his quadruple bypass in July. My mom
Was physically ok but was in a nursing home for end stage Alzheimer's and didn't recognize
Or know us anymore and didn't communicate. That night he spoke of a pizza he thought we had ordered and had an accident on the couch. We though it strange but he had just spent 28 days in the hospital so we knew he was still weak. As I called my uncle in California to tell him we needed to get my dad a nurse - he was a dr and had helped out in his care- my husband took my dad to his room to rest. Upon sitting down my dads hand dropped and head dropped and he started making grunting noises. My husband called me to tell me he thought my dad was having a stroke. I ran to the room called out to him and called 911. I went out for a second and came back in and started screaming " daddy no daddy!! Please help someone!" When I realized he wasn't breathing. I saw his color turn grey and his mouth open with drool coming down. The paramedics arrived shortly and worked on him for 20 min or so - it seemed like an hour!and took him to the hospital not yet with his heart started or breathing. I knew it had been too long and if he came back he would never recover. We drove to the hospital with no idea if he had made it and when we got there we found out he was brought back but it didn't look good and long story short he was declared brain dead and Wednesday afternoon we turned off the life support and he died at 217 pm arizona time Wednesday November 6th. I went to visit my mom in the home that night and a nurse told me it was best not to tell her but she would somehow know. All I said was that " Bob loves you but can't come see you right now". The next day I went to see her and she wouldn't open her eyes like she normally would and her color was ashy. I asked the nurse if they typically had a hard time rising her and she just said " I told you that there would be a change ". The next morning I got a call from the home at 830 am arizona time that my mom had passed away at 803 that morning of Friday November 8th. I Am sure my dad came to get my mom as there is no other explanation and I am thrilled they are together but how do you process loosing not one but both parents in such a short time? One week before I had 2 parents and then I had none?

Comments for 2 parents in 2 days

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Dec 05, 2013
2 parents in 2days
by: Anonymous

I am very sorry for your loss. Tough on you losing both parents within hours. Please take comfort from the knowledge they are both at peace and together now. look after yourself your parents would want the best for you. In time you will think of the good times and take solace from the fact that they now have each other. Wishing you all the best. Brigid.

Nov 30, 2013
2 parents in 2 days
by: Doreen UK

Jackie I am sorry for your loss of your mom and day within 2 days.
To lose more than one person at a given time will be hard processing both losses. Try and see a grief counsellor if you find yourself struggling with grief. It is so hard when you lose your parents. I lost my mom 10yrs. ago and will lose my father soon. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 18 months ago, and still struggling with grief, mostly every Saturday. The day of the week he died. Saturday's will never be the same again. I had a family of 6 on a Saturday for dinner and now there is only me. Plunged into sudden loneliness. TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. This helped me so much and I still take only one day at a time and I find I get through my day's better. It will take time to recover from grief.

Nov 27, 2013
Dear Jackie,
by: Anonymous

I am so, so sorry to read about your parents. My heart breaks for you. I will keep you in my prayers, and hope you can begin to find some comfort, peace and strength as you begin to heal.
Barb

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