20 years together and the an dumped

by kevin

I was with girlfriend for 22 years in total but I don't count the last 2 after finding out after the break up she was on dating and meeting men.
I had to work away to pay the mortgage I stayed with family to allow me to send all my money home which meant i could not go home regular I managed to do all the holidays even managed to pay for her to visit me.
Then on one occasion I phone her to ask when we could get together and was told that she had nothing to come over to and there was no reason for me to go home. And then she put the phone down I tried to call her family but no one would talk then 6 months later I find out via the Internet that my foster daughter of 15 years had died she nor her family had told me. Managed to contact her and asked why wasn't I told her reply was couldn't handle me and new boyfriend at the funeral.
Since then I have found out the new boyfriend was living in my house when we were supposed to be together and that he is 12 years her junior I can understand her leaving me for a younger man but don't understand the lies she was my best friend for twenty years and up until this I don't think we ever told each other lies.

why when I know I am better off out of it does it still hurt she is on my mind the minute I wake up and there again before I sleep

Comments for 20 years together and the an dumped

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Oct 01, 2014
20 years together and then dumped
by: Doreen UK

This is the sadness of living apart due to work and having to earn a living and pay for a mortgage. The distance eats into a relationship and the time apart can kill the feelings one has for their partner. You were together 20yrs. but not married. I guess she had the best part of your relationship and realised that she was not married to you so as a FREE person she chose to be with someone else.
My husband worked away from home for most of his working life as an exhibition carpenter. I got on with the job of rearing the children. I did not focus on what I didn't have in my relationship with my husband having to work away from home. I focused on the fact that he had a job to do, and to put a roof over his families heads, and he had to work long hours and away from home in order to care for his family. Not something he enjoyed, but something he had to do to care for his family.
It is hard for some women to do this. Perhaps your girlfriend felt because she was not married to you she was free to do anything she wanted and so she did go off and live her life how she wanted. Some women just can't take the isolation and loneliness of being apart. This is why I do feel sad for many men who have a job to do and become casualties in their relationship. People will only dump their partners because they can. It is this freedom that can abuse a relationship and leave the other broken-hearted for a long time. I am sorry for your loss of your relationship and also for your loss of your foster daughter. It is sad when relationships are dishonoured and carelessness becomes a way of life regardless of the feelings or concerns of one they once loved.

Jun 28, 2014
Feel so Alone
by: Josie

It's very hard to understand why people do what they do she should of been honest with you once she decided she wanted to move on. That was very immature of her and her family not to notify you about the death of your foster child may she rest in peace God bless her. You don't say how long of periods you were away from home. Myself being a woman it would really be hard to not have you near she probably felt like even though you were working she was lonely that was something you both needed to discuss. When you have a bad breakup you have to grieve it's a normal process. I will be praying for you that your heart heals and you can move on it will take awhile but don't dwell on it there is a wonderful woman out there for you.

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