21 Was Just Too Young

by Pam Langevin

It never feels good when someone leaves us before we are ready. But to lose my brother David when he was just 21 seemed very cruel. June 12, 1991 was the day that I got the phone call I will never forget. A motorcycle accidnet would take him away from us immediately and forever.
At the time, I was able to focus on my 1 year old son. And as it does, life continued to change. My husband and I decided to move closer to family. The loss of my brother taught us that life is just too short. I had a second son just 3 years later and my husband and I moved several more times. Finally we purchased a home and I thought we were ready to settle into a long life together.
Just a year after that move my marriage came to an end. It was then that I started to miss my brother even more. I knew he would have been there checking up on me. Grabbing a coffee or a movie or seeing if I needed anything. But he wasn't there. That was 1999.
Here we are at 2012 and it doesn't feel any better. I want him to be here to see all of his nephews and neices. I want him to be here to see my house and how my life turned out. I am not sure I want him to be here to meet my new husband (I think they would be trouble together). I want to stamp my foot like a 6-year old throwing a tantrum. I want my brother back!
I thought time was supposed to make the hurt feel less strong? I thought time was supposed to heal all wounds? I thought time would allow me to get through this day without tears? How much more time?

Comments for 21 Was Just Too Young

Click here to add your own comments

Jun 13, 2012
Lost Brother David at 21
by: Doreen England U.K.

Hi Pam
I am sorry for the loss of your brother David at 21. You seem to have lost a marriage and so this loss on top of losing a brother is still a very significant loss and you probably didn't have time to grieve properly for your brother when your marriage ended and so one loss is compounded on top of another and you will probably take longer to heal.
I think the type of relationship we had with our loved one has a lot to do with the intensity and length of time grieving takes and so if you feel that you are not moving forward from your loss as you would like then it may be time to see a bereavement counsellor.
I lost my husband 5 weeks ago and I had a very bad day today with grief. Whenever I am watching the God channel and I hear someone say God is able to heal you from your sickness and God loves you and doesn't want you to suffer I call out aloud this is not true. This is my grief at the moment my anger towards God. I know God is not to blame and that he owns us but I can't help my anger and can't stop it either. Life hurts so much and I can't bear the lonliness. You will too Pam as it is the sting of death that never leaves us. We are told in the Bible that we are not to sorrow as those who don't have HOPE. But it is hard. I hope to see Steve again but it is hard letting go.
I hope you are able to find Healing and Hope in the midst of your grief.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Sibling.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!