22 Year Marriage and Husband Made me leave:

by denise
(Athens, Ga USA)

I have been married to this man since I was 19yrs old, I am now 42. We have had a lot of trial and tribulations, and trying to hang on because we do love each other, and we have 2 beautiful daughters 17, and 20 who we both love very much. I have been a stay at home mom except for a couple of jobs here, and there just trying to please him, but my idea was to stay home, raise my girls, and be his wife. I never graduated from High School, and I have no degree t fall back on now. I have had to come and stay with my parents for now until I am emotionally stable to get a job, and try to stand on my on two feet. I am scared of the unknown, not knowing if I can make it out here on my own. I have been soley dependent on him for 22 years, and It frightens me to know end to look for a job, to try and stay stress free, to be able to pay my bills. I also have no car, and no way to get to a job or anywhere, and I feel so trapped, and have for 3 yrs now. I say I love him, and I feel I love him, and I miss him, and the somewhat security I had, but what I love about him I have no Idea. I feel as though I am going through a death, but he is still around, but not around me. I feel as though I have been alienated from my children, my husband, and my life that I had. My children are with him because they work so close to where we were living, and my parents home is 30 miles away from them. I miss my kids so much, and If we were all 3 together I know that It would be easier for me during this time. But they are older, and going to be moving out soon on there own. My husband has a good job with benefits, and is willing to leave me on the insurance, but he also has told me I would not be getting any alimony from him, or anything. I don't understand how he thinks I deserve nothing. If a husband files for divorce, and he has retirement but not much can I get half, and what can I get from him or this to help me survive until I get on my feet. What do women do when a husband files for divorce, and does not agree with the terms and the woman can not afford an attorney at all. Help I have no clue.

Comments for 22 Year Marriage and Husband Made me leave:

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Dec 23, 2011
by: peggy

If ever you need to talk more privately with someone that knows your pain, feel free to contact me at my email. kenpeg2@bellsouth.net. Someday I need to change my email address, even it has his name in it.

Dec 23, 2011
child support
by: peggy

You should also be getting childsupport. Make sure you ask for it until they are 22 and out of college or trade school and keep the tax exemptions. Just because he pays support does not mean he can always take the exemption. Also ask for health care for your kids and you until the divorce. But to get everything you deserve, you will have to have an attorney that has no ties to his attorney. My attorney always seem to worry about making the other atty mad. We had words on more than one occasion.

Dec 23, 2011
money for atty
by: peggy

I know about the money problem. I too had to come up with $3000 to hire an atty. I only had 2 weeks to come up with the money as he filed a no fault and I had 10 days to respond. You have to lower your pride and ask for donations if possible from family and friends otherwise he will walk all over you and you will not get what you deserve. I know it stinks but he should be paying you alimony right now and if you get an atty, he will get the back pay for you and you can pay back your friends and family. The temp alimony is higher than the final. My divorce was final on valentines day this year and our settlement was done in October. He has been gone 2 yrs on Dec 9th. I live in Louisiana but the laws are similar in most states. You have no choice but to hire an attorney. It sucks when we are innocent and have to pay for the sins of others. It is not fair and I feel for you.

Dec 23, 2011
your deserve alimony
by: Peggy

My husband did not want to pay me either but guess what, I got lifetime alimony and the house. It has not been pleasant but I did not back down. I can no longer work due to back issues and he left me for a tramp. He said they were just friends but is now her 5th husband. You need to get an attorney and file pauper status so you don't have to pay court fees up front. Then sue him for your legal fees and life time alimony. If your health is good, you may only get it until you can attend school and then a find a job. Good luck.

Dec 23, 2011
how do I get a lawyer with no money
by: Denise


Dec 23, 2011
22 yr marriage and husnand made me leave
by: Denise

I have talked to legal aide, legal service, and plenty of lawyers, but no one will take me without a &2,500 retainer fee, and I have no money. I am so overwhelmed with all of this and I just don't know what to do.

Dec 23, 2011
by: Zoe

I have worked in law for 30 years
1. Do not sign anything
2.get a lawyer NOW he can get his fee from hubby

U not getting anything is a pipedream

Dec 23, 2011
Don't give up, press on, you will make it through the storm!
by: Denise

Hi Denise, my name is Denise as well...I googled your question and this is the answer I got.... I hope this helps. Oh and for a lawyer, see if there is a legal aide office in your area.


After being married for 22 years what am I entitled to? He has taken care of me for 22 years. He's taken care of all the household bills etc. We have 3 girls but the baby is 15.

State: Virginia


Without knowing any specifics, it sounds like you have a very good case for alimony and support. A long marriage where the husband has been the sole earner will be a big factor in the court's determination of awards. Dependent children will also strengthen your case, although Virginia laws stipulate that children are only entitled to support until the age of 19 or graduation from high school, whichever occurs first. Since you have so much riding on the line in this case it would probably be a good idea to at least consult with a divorce attorney if you can afford it. You will need to be very organized when you present your case to the court. - The Divorce.com Team


It has everything to do with adultery and/or abuse, as the judge takes this into account when deciding if you should be awarded alimony, how much you should get, and for how long. In most states, the length of the marriage holds the other qualifier. Should the marriage have lasted 15 + years and the husband is the major wage earner, the judge can award the wife alimony based on the style in which she was accustomed to living. This does not mean he will award her 1/2 of his income and for the rest of his life. It means that she will get a "fair" sum for a set amount of time. (Usually 10 +/- years) Again, the "wrong" done by the spouse is what can be a huge determining factor in amount and time awarded the wife.

Denise, stay encouraged, pray and trust God He will make every crooked road straight in your life if you believe... You can read my story at... From Tragedy, to Triumph... I lost my youngest son, he was murdered last year and God has straightened out my suffering. Stay Blessed!

My son's website is www.justinldavisfoundation.org feel free to browse the site for information..

Dec 22, 2011
Get Help
by: judith in California

The attorneys at Kitchens, New & Cleghorn, LLC handle cases Our Athens office is located at 264 Jackson Street, Athens, GA 30601. Plenty of free parking is available on-site. Call our main line at (706) 247-8790.

Please call them and tell them of your problem and tell her you are indigent and ask if you hired her wouldn't your husband have to pay . He can't just throw you out with nothing or no support.

Good luck.

keep us informed of your progress.

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