22 years, 5 days before christmas and she says she wants out...

its 3 days till Christmas and I sit here crying, hurting and wondering why me, why is this happening after 22 years. We have had our ups and downs in the 22 years even things that would destroy most marriages but we worked though it and here we are 22 years later and she wants out because she says she is not happy and she wants to be alone.

I hurt so much right now, can't sleep for more than an hour or 2 at a time, cry when I look at our kids (16/18) I am a complete wreak. She is the love of my life and I would go to hell and back for her if needed but then this happens and I just don't even feel like living anymore. I am not suicidal but if I were to die in my sleep, I would not even care at this point.

Comments for 22 years, 5 days before christmas and she says she wants out...

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Oct 01, 2014
22yrs., 5 days before Christmas and she says she wants out...
by: Doreen UK

22yrs. is a long time to be with someone and they suddenly want out. It is painful to see a relationship of so many years suddenly break down and dissolve so suddenly, with no warning. It is unfair to you or your children.
You cannot force a person to stay but you do have the right to have a reason for this sudden upheaval and breakdown of the relationship.
Your children will be hurting right now. Perhaps seeing a grief counsellor may help you to assess the damage in the relationship and explore why it is no longer working for your other half and why such DISCONTENT. She may just need some time apart to explore her own needs and what she wants out of your relationship that she feels she is not getting her needs met. Good communication is needed in trying to resolve what is going on.
FOCUSING on your children will help you to recover better. Some Adult children don't cope well, and other's adapt with time.
I lost my husband to cancer 2yrs. ago and I am thankful I am spared the pain of any divorce. I am a product of a family who got a divorce and it is hard on the children trying to cope with loving both parents and not understanding what went wrong. Many young adults turn the problem on themselves and somehow think they are to blame for the breakup. Thus complicating the recovery. Focus on You and the children, but seek the answers you deserve to know of why she walked away from 22yrs. together.

May 06, 2014
22 years
by: Anonymous

Let me say this to you i can relate to a 22 year relationship ending out of the blue it happened to me but the one thing that makes it easier is to think about how cold and heartless he was to do that and being left to rot by him after all those years makes me glad i no longer know him id rather know someone with a heart than someone without one im better off you will be too bud

Dec 26, 2013
Live
by: Anonymous

I'm very sorry that you are going through this. I understand your pain.

Although it seems as though it may be worst because this is happening during the holidays, the pain of a break up of a marriage hurts no matter what time of the year it is.

With that being said, I would suggest that you talk to a professional to help you through this great disappointment. It will help you to know what to do with the pain that you are experiencing and can help you to avoid more pain. When you are the spouse that does not want out of the marriage, it will affect you in greater ways than the spouse that wants out.

There are no guarantees that your wife will want to reconcile so your focus needs to be on you first, your children and then your marriage in regards to what happens next.

Try not to let the pain keep you in limbo by waiting around to see what will happen next but get busy healing you..

Dec 23, 2013
It will get better and better,
by: Anonymous

Like I just said, it gets better, hang in there your kids need you, I could tell you a story very similar to yours, I am just further down the road than you, It has been 3 years, I still love her but have had to move on, I will never be the same since my wife of 30 years left me and my 17 year old daughter because she was just done, I want her to be happy, I have started to believe that I am actually happy now, I have down times but I have to be there for my kids, and for myself, we are worth it, there is love again I think, and I am looking forward to being in a loving relationship again, but for the time being Im really into letting things be what they are, believe me when I say it gets better, the old saying time heals is so true, Hang in there.....

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