22 YEARS AND ADD 9 YEARS


(california )

november 30,2010 he took his own life. now i and his son and daughter are carrying his burden.

christmas and now 2011 is facing me. i don't want it to come as i will not have shared any of it with him. how does one stop a clock?

we must plan a memorial for him. its almost too much but i feel it will help our children.

today i feel like i am a ton. so heavy the burden of carrying on.

may tomorrow bring us all some new light.

Comments for 22 YEARS AND ADD 9 YEARS

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Dec 31, 2010
Time stops
by: Anonymous

Dear Fellow Traveler,

I am deeply sorry for your loss. You speak eloquently of the terrible pain you are suffering and it reminds me of where I have been. It has been 5 years since my son took his life and there is not a day that I don't think about him and wish I had him back in my life. I have come to accept that he felt total agony in his life - all was darkness and despair; the signs of depression, I now understand. I could not save him, but like any mother, I would have. I would have died for him if that would have saved him.

These are sad words, I know. I have moved forward over time, but it only takes an instant to feel again the agony. But I am no longer in this alone. More than family, I have Jesus Christ who gave up His life to save mine and everyone else's. His Father chose to give up His only Son for me. These words mean everything to me now. Knowing God understands the grief of a parent brings me comfort. God knows and understands your deep grief too. You and I have much in common - tragedy does that. Come and chat any time. I am here to listen. I have gone before you and now, I can extend a hand. "impossiblejoy@yahoo.com". GT

Dec 30, 2010
surviving greif
by:

There will be better days ahead. I know that you do not believe me. It seems impossible now doesn't it? All of us here have traveled the impossible road of grief. All of us weary from the ups and downs that it brings are here to tell the story of survival. Keep reading, keep writing. I have a journal and write to my Love as often as I need. It always starts...My Love,

I write to him as if he were here and I could talk to him. It helps, if you have even the slightest ability for art, paint your feelings and put a date on the bottom. One day you will look at the writings and art of despair and realize how far you have come. But it is moment by moment expect no more of yourself. You can't yet.

My best to you in your journey of grief...
HH

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