26 years of marriage..OVER
(Port Orange, FL)
I was with my soon to be ex husband since I was 17. Married at 19 and this year I have found out that he had a barmaid girlfriend he bought $1,000 of jewelry for Christmas and Valentines Day and we separated for about 4 months when I found this out and confronted him. He said she was only a friend someone he could talk to. (I am such an idiot)I took him back after 4 months separated went to marriage counseling and stupid me caught him cheating AGAIN with another barmaid who is 4 years older then our daughter and I found the text message to her that read: I love you so much I dream of us together and I will take care of you and your kids unbelievable. I knew my marriage was over two weeks prior to this when he came home drunk on our 26th Anniversary. I also got laid off from my job a week before this and had moved into another bedroom of the house. Well, let's just say I was at rock bottom and took a bottle of Xanax pills at 2:30 in the afternoon and didn't want to wake up. But, because God didn't like my plan I woke up and his drunk ass had just came home at 2:30am and I took his cell phone out of his hands and read this text to her. If I wasn't still doped up on the Xanax I would be typing this from a jail cell right now because I would have killed him with my bare hands.
I spent a month in bed because I couldn't pull it together. My family and friends have rotated thru my house and without them I wouldn't be here because the alternative is what I wish for daily. I don't want to be in the shoes I am wearing and can't believe the man I gave my heart and soul to so many years ago could hurt me so bad.
Everyone says time will heal the pain but I can't stop the tears from flowing. I have been to a few doctors and all the medicine in the world isn't going to help how I feel. I speak to my minister and all the words everyone says to me can't stop the pain my heart is feeling. I know I am not the first divorcee or the last I just don't know how to feel good about myself again.