2yrs 4 mos have past since Lossing my wife

by Jim
(clinton twps, Mi)

My wife was everything to me, we were together for 17 years. I just can not seem to get over her death. She went in for what was described as a simple surgery and due to error she did not make it through surgery. I have given each star in the sky a reason for my love for her, I have run out of stars, but not out of reasons I loved her so. They tell me that in time you will learn to live without her, but never forget her. So far every day gets harder and after 2 years 4 mos I seem to hurt more.

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Jul 17, 2014
sympathy and hope.
by: Lawrence

Hi Jim,
You are a few months ahead of me
It is now eighteen months since my own precious wife died in my arms, and like you I am not coping very well. I miss her incredibly; every day is a struggle to get through without seeing her beautiful face, her lovely laugh and feeling her gentle kiss.
We were childhood sweethearts and fell in love so early, she was fourteen and I was fifteen when our eyes met at a youth club and the next seventy years were pure bliss.
So I know exactly how you feel.
Let me tell you how I am trying to deal with my own sadness, and heartache.
I KEEP BUSY.
I am out of my house (I don’t call it a home anymore without the love and laughter) very early and keep occupied.
I have learnt to play bridge, which I tell you is very difficult at the age of eighty five, but I can now play it well enough to join a bridge club.
I write novels and children’s books, I am having weekly violin lessons after giving up the violin at the age of fifteen when I saw this beautiful young girl and decided there and then I would rather hold her than my violin any day, probably the best decision I have ever made, so for the next seventy years it lay in its case and after she died, I took it out, dusted it down and started playing again, I’m pretty good, but unfortunately there is no one to hear me, but the few hours practice every night helps.
So you can see, Jim my life now.
So Is it working?.
No, not really, I still cry daily and anything can start me off, and climbing the stairs to an empty bedroom still makes my eyes swim with tears.
I wrote a poem after she died and it ended.
GO TO THE WINDOW AND LOOK AT A STAR.
IF EVER WE’RE PARTED I’LL KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.

From one grieving widower to another.
Take care. and you have my deepest sympathy.

Lawrence

Jul 17, 2014
2yrs. 4 months have passed since losing my wife
by: Doreen UK

Jim I am so sorry for your loss of your wife of 17yrs. This is the hardest grief to bear.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to a deadly cancer 2yrs. ago and I had days I thought I was healing and felt good. Then all of a sudden I felt my grief creeping up on me. It showed up in a lack of motivation which stops and starts. I just go with how I feel and I don't do anything at all. I don't force myself to do anything I am not able to. But I do one good thing for myself each day till it becomes a way of life. this way I have nurtured and built myself up so that I am able to go on in life and cope ONE DAY AT A TIME. We have to find ways of making life better for ourselves when we can. It took me 9yrs. to recover from grief of losing my mother and I know it will take longer to recover from the grief of losing my husband. There is no easy way to cope with our sadness and sorrow. Don't isolate yourself with grief. Being out of the house also helps us. You will have waves of sorrow and normality that I hope will pass in time. But meantime we can keep on sites like this for encouragement and strength to go on each day.

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