3 family members in less than 3 months

by leighanne
(west midlands )

It started in the beginning of june when they told us that dad had only got weeks left I thought he would really get better , since January I'd been with him from day one when he got told right up till the day he died ,it was the 26th june 2014 an I new when I saw him that day that the end was near it was heart breaking watching him get worse every day an that day came when he passed away peacefully in his sleep I was a mess I started picking my sleep up then on the 29th august I received a phone call to say my grandad died then a week later on the 5th august I got told my cousin was in ITU he had a asthma attack which caused a heart attack an they wasn't sure if he was going to make it on sunday he sadly gave up the fight an passed away. Its now 3 days later an its all hit me I dont no what to do I cant eat sleep I cant find strength to do anything to get over this plz any advice would be nice

Comments for 3 family members in less than 3 months

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Sep 11, 2014
3 family members in less than 3 months
by: Doreen UK

Leighanne I am sorry for the loss of your father, grandfather, and cousin. The way you feel right now is normal. Grief is not something we can imagine till we go through it. The pain is so bad and the healing so slow. The first thing to suffer is our motivation to do anything. Rather like being knocked down by a car and you are struggling to get up and go on each day. You can't force yourself through this to do anything.
I lost my husband to cancer 2yrs. ago and didn't know what to expect. I couldn't function for 6 months. I did nothing. I COULDN'T. I sat on the couch and let TV bathe my wounds of grief. Slowly after 6 months I got some strength back and took one job a day which increased to 2 jobs and scaled back when I couldn't do anything. Which is why the advice I got on this sight was to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. This helps. I can still only take one day at a time 2yrs. later. WE each handle our grief differently, as we have different histories and bonding with our loved one's. But the general feeling and grief pain is consistent with how we all feel on this site. Some people like yourself have multiple losses and often can be helped with the support of a grief counsellor. Having supportive family and friends can be a good help, but often everyone moves on in their own lives and we can find ourselves feeling very alone and abandoned. This is a hard experience. I nurtured myself back by doing many good things for myself each day almost like pampering one's self back into life. This is a good foundation of healing. You will find your way back into life and grief does not last forever. This will give you the Hope for each new day. Find friends and start building up yourself and your network of people who will help you through this isolation of feeling all alone.

Sep 10, 2014
3 family members in less than 3 months
by: Doreen UK

Leighanne I am so sorry for your loss of your Dad, granddad, and cousin in such a short space of time. Perhaps seeing a grief counsellor would be a great help at this time having to cope with 3 losses in 3 months.
What you are feeling is normal. Not being able to sleep, or losing your motivation is normal. Don't push yourself to do anything your body can't handle. When I lost my husband 2yrs. ago I could not function for 6 months. I sat on the couch for 6 months and bathed my grief with TV. After 6 months I started feeling better and able to take on one or two jobs a day and built on this. Scaling back if I needed to. I nurtured myself this way back into life. WE each find our own way of coping with grief. The important thing is to do what suits you and what you feel comfortable with. Grief assaults our body and makes us feel weak and unable to function for some time. Be gentle with yourself, and build yourself up so you start to heal. There are no timetables to grief or which is the best way forward. But you can be guided by other people's experiences on this website so that you don't confused about what to expect from grief. Grief is very painful. Best way forward is by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME.

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