3 gone in six days how do we ever get over this?

by Terri
(Wa)

This is my story. in november of 2009 my brother became ill the hospital said he had a blockage they would do surgery the next day. during surgery his blood pressure went to zero. the blockage had burst and his system was poisoned. we watched as they filled him full of so many diffrent meds. they pumped so many fluids into him that he became almost unrecognizable, fluids started leaking out of his nose, eyes,everywhere. There was nothing more to do but end the suffering. during my brothers days in the hospital my mother was not feeling well she had heart problems and was on oxygen. I called my cousin( my sisters best friend) to come sit with my sister at the hospital so I could take mom to her heart doctor. At The doctors she was told everything was pretty much the same adjusted some meds and sent her home. while I was at the doctors with mom my cousin started having pains in her chest, she was already at the hospital so they rushed her to the er where they decided she was having a panic attack and sent her home. When she got home she died. The next day we had to tell mom her niece was dead and her son was dying. I called her heart doctor to ask if she was strong enough to handle the news. The doctor told me I am looking at her charts, she just had an echo and I do not see any reason medically not to tell her. The machines were turned off and my brother passed. We came home told mom and a few hours later she had a seizure went into heart failure and passed away a few days later. Leaving us with a huge void and no way to deal with all this. I take antidepressants so I dont have to deal. I know I can not handle reality so I just live in denial. It is the only way I know how to cope. Oh and we already had lost my dad and brother in law six years earlier they died 5 months apart.Thanks for listening.

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Aug 26, 2011
So much
by: Anonymous

Terri, I wish you peace. Your story is most upsetting. It's just too much to comprehend so much loss at one time. It's just not normal. Please know our hearts go out to you at this most difficult time.

I hope you find this site and the support helpful to where you can stop taking the meds, as they will only delay your grief process.

I'm choosing to take no meds in my grief process because I want to feel all I am supposed to feel in real time. There are times I truly think about it but just don't.

May you find strength, peace and acceptance through God.

God bless you.

Aug 25, 2011
Tragic
by: Anonymous

How horribly tragic your story is. You must be going trough so much pain. I will not say I'm sorry for you because I KNOW that they are just empty words. I doubt if there are many words that could comfort you. This does not mean I have no compassion for you. I send you prayers and much love. I know you must be in terrible pain. I hope the love of God can help ease your grief.

Aug 25, 2011
One day at a time...
by: Anonymous

Terri,

Oh you poor baby. I feel so bad for what you have had to endure . I wish that I had some words of comfort, some way to ease your pain. I lost My husband Dec 09. His brother died Oct. 10. My sister in law explains that she is just now beginning to deal with the grief of loosing her brother My husband Paul. She mentally puts her other brothers grief on the back burner until she can deal with it. I do not think that this is denial it is just dealing with grief one day one moment at a time.

Allow grief to take you where it will. None of us have a roadmap for grief. We just wander in a fog trying to exist and get through the day. Some days are manageable and others seem so unreal.
Just remember to take one day one breath at a time.
HH

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