3 losses in 6 weeks

by Lynn

We expected Mom to leave us 8 years ago after her aneurysm rupture, but somehow unable to speak, eat or care for herself she was just too stubborn to give up. She loved us fiercely and didn't want to go. God finally called her home on June 3rd. You are never ready. She was my best friend.

Grandma was 90 years old on June 3. Yes, the day Mom passed. She had just had a severe stroke and was still quite active until about 6 months prior to this. I was always her little angel "no matter how old" she would say. She passed on July 20.

My close friend was diagnosed with lung cancer in June. His surgery was July 9. They got all of the cancer, but he couldn't breathe on his own afterwards. He left this earth Saturday and his funeral is the same day as my Grandmother's. I am not able to attend.

I am beyond overwhelmed. It's way past unfair, way beyond the limits of comprehension. I know someday I'll be able to wrap my head around this... Or maybe not.

Comments for 3 losses in 6 weeks

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Sep 17, 2013
by: Kate

Just read your post, I took lost my son at age 39,overwhelming!! Then my sister,my cousin and my niece!
I am still in numbness. All these losses and an ex mother in law too whom I knew since 16 and had stayed close to. I do not know how I stand through it except by divine help that I ask for. My heart goes out to you. Death is the hardest thing ever. It is 10 months today that my son died,how has ten months gone by!! How! Then after him all the others. Help us all dear lord! This site has helped so many be able to express hurt hearts with others who understand. I am grateful for this.

Aug 11, 2013
Thank you
by: Lynn

Thanks to everyone that responded. After a couple of weeks, I am still in shock but starting to think that things will get easier in time thanks to others here on this site. I don't feel so alone in this horrible situation. I am so glad I found this page.

Aug 11, 2013
3 losses in 6 weeks
by: silver

Dear Lynn,I am so sorry for your losses.I understand how you feel.My friend of 28 yrs(our kids grew up together)died on May 29,2010.My mother died on June 30,2010.Two weeks later my niece and nephew's other grandmother died.I went to the visitation but then the loss of my mother hit me so hard I had to tell them I couldn't go to the funeral.It hurt me to tell them that because their mother,my baby sister,died in Nov.2001.I wanted to be there for them but I just couldn't. I sent on my father,mother,friend,and my husband in 17 months.It has been a little more than 2 yrs since my husband died. I am a lot better, thanks to my belief in GOD and this site. It really helps to be able to talk(sort of)to others that REALLY know how you feel.I still cry sometimes.Sometimes for one or all of them.There are still triggers,and from what I have heard and observed,there always will be.My darling husband used to say,"It never goes away,it just gets better." He was right.My hardest time was when I hit the 15 month mark of my husbands death.My birthday came around and all of a sudden it hit me that he really was gone and wasn't coming back.I was blessed to keep my parents until I was 60 and my husband for 33 yrs.I have many good memories and that helps also.Some of us,like me,write poetry and others write journals.Whatever you do,it will help.I also write down memories when I think of them.It helps to remember all the wonderful things in our joint lives.May GOD send you strength and peace.I will keep you in my prayers

Aug 03, 2013
by: Anonymous

Lynn, I'm praying for you! I had several within nine months and six weren't expected but the other three we were praying for as it hit a point. It is especially difficult when going to telephone arrangements and find that out of certain groups there isn't anyone left call. I so look forward to the many reunions in heaven as in many of the groups, I'm last one "standing"...
God be with you. You will get through this!! One day at a time and stop in the midst of all to feel their presence and love. Call on your mom, grandma and best friend and you will hear their advice to you echoing, trust me! Peace dear lady.

Jul 26, 2013
3 losses in 6 weeks
by: Doreen U.K.

Lynn I am sorry for your loss of your Mom, Grandmother, and friend. No it isn't fair. It is bad enough having to cope with one loss but with many losses it almost too much to bear. You don't have time to grieve each loss before it happens again. We then become vulnerable to loss and wonder who will go next and how will we cope? this is normal. Death is all around us but when it visit's us more than once it is hard to cope with this and carry on in life.
I know many people say we will recover in time, and this gives us hope that life will get better, but for all those having just lost someone this is far too early to process this information. All one can feel is the terrible loss with a deep sorrow that crushes them and all they can see is this mountain of grief and how will they cope. Take only one day at a time and don't look too far forward otherwise your grief will consume you and swallow you up. Only do what you feel is necessary for each day and leave the rest. Many of us lose our motivation to do any work or go to a job, or even establish a social life again. Let each day unfold as it will and only process what you are able to do.
When I lost my husband 14 months ago, I sat around for days and did nothing but sit on the couch and let TV absorb my mind to block out the pain. I would then give time to grief and cry when I felt like it. I only managed to cook a quick meal even if it was only to put something in the oven so I could maintain my energy. Then each day I got stronger I gave myself a target to do at least 2 jobs a day. If I didn't manage this I scaled back to one job a day just to get my motivation back and when I look back at what I accomplished I was actually doing more than my target. I still have a heaviness in my spirit that makes me feel like not doing anything, but I know I will get up and cook today, I stretch the house jobs by pacing myself and taking a section of the house at a time. When I have done as much work as I can manage I sit down with contentment that I at least made the effort to do something. I do find that life gets easier when I structure my day. Otherwise when I drift I feel worse. But do what works for you. Just don't feel that you are unusual to feel the way you do. It is normal. The lonliness of our new life is all consuming and adds to our grief so try and maintain contact with people, it does help. If one is isolated with grief it is harder. May God comfort you in your loss and grief.

Jul 25, 2013
Hang in There
by: Anonymous

I lost my nephew last summer from cancer, three month later my kids daddy in a car accident and three months after that my brother also died in a car accident. There is nothing fair about losing someone close and it's painful beyond anyones comprehension. There is the first session of the grieving process where you go through the stages within days, then weeks, then months, and then years. Whatever you're feeling is normal when you lose them, like one minute you feel so sad you want to die and then all of a sudden you're angry. It's important to go through the motion and cry whenever you feel like it. It will get easier. Your not alone.

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