3 Months since my husband passed

by Bobbie

For almost 4 years, my husband was on the liver/kidney transplant list. He was diabetic and had non-achoholic liver disease. We had many doctor's appointments and could not travel too far from home. We climbed up the list and while my husband was in the hospital for physical therapy, he was left alone in a wheelchair in the hall. He tried to get up but fell and broke his hip and died 6 days later in a hospice. I feel so overwhelmed with sadness. I miss him so. I have always been a positive person and full of hope.
It is hard to see now how to get that hope back and not be so lonely and afraid of the future. I keep busy and have a great support group. I find that I am most lonely in late afternoon thru bedtime. I miss those special moments of sharing the day's events, opinions, that special kiss or touch. It is comforting to hear other people's stories and what they do to feel better. Thanks for the listening ears.

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Sep 12, 2012
3 months since my husband passed
by: Doreen U.K.

Bobbie I am sorry for your loss of your husband. I lost my husband almost 4 months ago to cancer. He died slowly over 3yrs. I was his caregiver and we were married 44yrs. It is a very hard place for us to be, losing our quality of life. I feel just like you. Days I am positive and days I feel so negative about the future because I don't like change as I am getting older. I have supportive sisters and I talk on the phone and on skype but this is all I can do at the moment. I can't even sort out my husbands garage. I have sorted most of his clothes and put in bags in the spare room but finding it hard to take them to the Salvation army for distribution. Life has just lost all meaning. I can't imagine my husband not being around. I feel so lonely also towards the evening and late at night. I just hate the weekends. I feel all beaten up with grief and so not able to do much of anything but cook and clean and shop once a week. It is very hard seeing other people leading a normal life and out with their husbands and life for me now is so abnormal. I have always had HOPE because I believe in God. I know that I will see my husband again. I claim the promises of Jesus when He says. I go to prepare a place for you, and I will come back again to receive you to myself that where I am there you may be also. THIS IS MY HOPE. I stand on this promise. But I say to the good Lord that we have to dwell on the earth, and it is a hard place to be after losing our spouse. God created us for companionship so I guess He knows what we feel and go through in our Grief and Lonliness. When a husband dies it feels as if the SOUL has gone out of the house, and it lies lonely and empty like how I feel. Every day is still a struggle.

Sep 12, 2012
3 months
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Bobbi,
It is almost 15 months since my husband passed away. He had a massive heart attack, the day after our 46th wedding anniversary.
It really seems just like yesterday still. I miss him so much. The things I now miss the most are the little things we oh so take for granted. I miss his voice, his smile, his wink, his random touches and kisses and telling me everynight before going to bed,"Good night Trish, God Bless You and I love you" and get a good night kiss. I will never have that again and I still get tears thinking about that.
My life has truly changed. I hate the nights and weekends still. I try to keep busy and with some of our grandchildren in sports, I go to there sporting events. It helps pass the time, but in the back of my mind are the thoughts that he isn't here to enjoy this with me.
He is physically gone, but in my mind he is still here spiritually. I still talk to him alot. I probably always will. I sure wish he would answer me. I so miss his voice.
Going on without them isn't easy, but we all do survive. It is a roller coaster of emotions. My heart is still aching, though the tears are less frequent, yet, they are tucked somewhere close to my heart.
You are still in the early stages of your grief. I think back to 4 months after my husbands death and I still couldn't talk about him without crying. They say things get easier and better. I think we just learn to accept their death. It doesn't ever get easier or better. We lost a part of ourselves when our husbands died; how can that get easier or better. We do go on though, and having a good support system helps and I do have that.
I joined a grief support group through my church and developed a friendship with three other widows. We do things together, because going somewhere alone after 46 years of marriage, sure is very uncomfortable for me.
Take it One Day at a Time and there isn't any time limit on grief. It is personal, everyones relationship with their loved one is different and we all grieve differently. There isn't any right or wrong way to grieve.

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