5 months and counting

by Tamara

My Blackberry calendar reminder just went off. My dad's birthday is in 7 days, better think about a present. Thanks technology. My dad died 5 months ago. He had survived multiple cancers and was recovering for 12 years. Not only did he beat chemo, radiation, and surgery - he also beat a life time of alcohol addiction. The last four years of his life were markers of sobriety and having that time was so important. First off, clarity is a great healing power. For anything that I was angry at him, we were able to speak about openly in his sobriety. Being a survivor of some of the most brutal treatment, he also came to a point of living and loving the moment. From there, we were able to spend hundreds of hours recounting our memories - good and bad - while still just enjoying the simplicity of spending time together in the present. It's tragic that my father died when he did. It's not that he was so young - he was 75. But people in our family live into their 90's. And it's like he finally figured out the secret to his own happiness and then bam - gone. Lesson learned - love in the moment. Be honest in the moment. Share your feelings in the moment. Spend time with your loved ones not out of obligation but out of celebration for the connection. Family and friends. Enjoy every moment. Be truthful. Life is short and it feels long until it doesn't. My dad was a flawed parent, but he was the only dad I have and he was my biggest fan. I just miss talking to him more than anything. I know he's with me in spirit and he's got a good soul and enjoying himself somewhere. I just wish it were here.

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