5 months and trouble with step-son

by Pat
(Green Bay, Wisconsin)

My husband passed away on Christmas Eve 2010. It was so hard to try to go through the holidays with a smile. His funeral was on December 29, which was also his birthday. It seems that I am having a harder time now, no energy, no interest in anything. I have 3 children and he had 3 children. It has been a long haul. My husband had emphysema for 11 years, has been in a wheelchair for 5 years,and was a morbidly obese alcoholic. I did everything in my power to make his life a good one.We were together for 20 years, married for 13. His kids would only come around when they needed money. Not once did they offer to stay with him so I could have a day off. His only son hadn't seen him in 4 years,his oldest daughter hadn't seen him for a year and his youngest daughter hadn't been around for 2 years. I took in his 17 year old granddaughter when her mother threw her out. It seems like I have been giving to his family and never have gotten anything in return except grief. I called a family meeting after he was hospitalized, to inform his kids about his hopeless condition. I had a doctor, clergy, palliative care nurse, R.N. and his kids present. When the doctor was telling us the grim news that he wouldn't be coming home, his son got up and accused us of killing him and slammed out of the meeting. Now I receive nasty emails from him about me killing his father. God knows I did everything I could for him. He was good to me and my children, no matter how he felt. He had bad days, where he was pretty depressed and crabby, but who wouldn't be when he had to fight for every breath he took!!
I just can't understand why his son is being such a jerk, other than he can't deal with his own guilt.
I miss my husband terribly!!