5 months

by Donna
(Texas)

My oldest daughters boyfriend asked me yesterday as we were sitting on my front deck, if it felt like it was just yesterday that Bryan passed. I told him that it is in death as it was in life. It seemed like it was yesterday but at the same time it seems like it has been forever. Forever that I have been without my everything. It was that way for us in life. It seemed like we had been together all of our lives, but at the same time it was like it was just yesterday that we started our lives together.

People who didn't know us and how long we have been (oops, shit, sorry) had been together thought that we were newlyweds. We were so happy, we had no problem with public display of affection, holding hands, kissing, saying I LOVE YOU, etc... But people who knew us said that we were so comfortable with each other that we had to have been together a long time. They are right, it was over half of our lives, omg over half of our lives together.

What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to survive without the one person who could help me with anything, any time, no matter how big or small. The one who could make me smile no matter what just by saying I love you baby. OMG its been 5 months today I don't know what to do, and its 2 days before christmas. How am I going to get through this day? 1 breath, 1 step that's my motto nowadays