56+ years of his caring for us...so need him to know we loved him and wish we'd helped him more.
Dan and I were married 56 1/2 years. He was recovering from surgery he was excited to get...to rid him of bladder stones to possibly stop his urinary tract/bladder difficulties. He never really got better after the surgery. It turned out... doctors told us two weeks later... that he may have had a heart attack during that surgery. He went to surgery two weeks later because of difficulty breathing and had a stent put in a clogged artery. It made him 'feel better already!" he said. But the stent didn't work. He had too much damage done when he had had the earlier 'silent' heart attack. After 5 days he went to Hospice House to be made comfortable and out of fear. He was strong! He lived 9 more days...but he never spoke again. Our hearts break because he was an orderly man who would have had so much to tell us about how to carry on without his guidance. We depended SO on him! I don't know what he would want me to do and know we may have to sell our home quickly..but don't know what to do after that. I miss him so! Today is the hardest..it'll be one month tomorrow. I don't feel sorry for me. I only wish his last months had not been so hard. He had 3 surgeries...all related to the prostate issue...and a robbery, a favorite cat died of cancer, the computers were not functioning and he ran to town and got the parts multiple times to finally get all up and running again for us and he'd agonized over two surgeries our daughter needed to see if her tumors were malignant. He worked so hard. What if he didn't know how we knew we leaned so on him? He was a hero in the war field and a hero at home. Oh, I hope he knew! I miss him so. Today is the hardest. Maybe because I have been so busy until now...still have so much to do, but for some reason today hurts so! MY children are here. I'm not lonely. I just want so to know he knew we loved and valued and will forever miss him.