6 months, 3 deaths

by Jennifer Jones

I'm Jennifer, 12 years old and in seventh grade. My Great Aunt died today actually. But she's both the first.
In August of last year my eighteen year old cousin James McDowell died of heart failure. The next month, my step dad's grandmother died after being in a coma from a stroke.
And today my great aunt Louise died after just starting chemo therapy just three days before now for her lung cancer. They are not the only ones I have lost though. My father actually died when I was four, of a heart attack. Gary Dawane Jones, aka my dad, died at age 32. I bear through it, but no doubt it hurts like a third degree burn. The scars will never fade for me, and I cry against my own free will. This is the first time I have ever shared my story publicly, but I will say now I feel a little better. Because while scars won't fade completely you can make them blend in at least.
My body betrays me, no matter how much of a strong front I put up, it breaks at the mention of death, and I'll bread down along side it. I don't like to cry, and I hate crying in front of others. I guess I'm just a little hard edged when it comes to that....

Comments for 6 months, 3 deaths

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 23, 2014
by: Jolynn

You certainly have had to bear many sad events. Death is scary and unpredictable and when it enters our world , it makes our world seem very scary and unsafe. We no longer have any control of events then we find that having feelings for others can be overwhelming because we fear it might happen again. I lost my 26 yr. old son who was training to be a fighter pilot 1 year ago suddenly. It broke my heart and I worry now for my other two kids and husband. Life is unpredictable but it is also amazing and wonderful. It is important that you get in touch with your feelings and express them such as crying as grief is a process that does soften a bit with time and work and courage. Courage to face the pain. Unfortunately there are no shortcuts in grief. We need to feel it and move threw it. I force myself to see a grief counselor and attend a grief group. Also to see friends, go to movies, lunches and generally try not to isolate as problems grow when you have only yourself to bounce feelings off. You sound mature and that will help you I think taking steps to help yourself. Just by coming on this site you are helping yourself heal. I wish you peace and comfort.

Jan 05, 2014
Your maturity
by: Lawrence

I have met many 12 year olds but you stand apart from them with your maturity.
Your body isn’t betraying you, it’s telling you to take nature’s way of healing which is to cry and cry until you feel you are cried out, then more tears will come.
You have joined a web site where all of us have been crushed, heartbroken and overwhelmed by the death of a loved one and we have all cried, at times when we least expected it much to our embarrassment, but I repeat it is nature’s way so give in to it.
It doesn’t make you a weak girl just a very lovely normal one.
Unfortunately death is part of life and every living thing from the tiny virus to the 200 ton whale will sooner or later die.
It has come as a tremendous shock to you but as you mature you will accept it as we all do.
Don’t be so hard on yourself, if you cry in front of others I’m sure all you will find is sympathy and compassion and lots of hugs.
Keep sending your blogs and let us all know how you are getting on.
Be happy

Jan 04, 2014
You are not alone
by: Seana

You have gone through so so so much tragedy and that is just unfair and horrible... I am so proud of you for talking about it because it is important to know you are not alone and life can be really, really hard, and we need to help eachother through this crazy world... Read good books and write in a journal too... Or keep blogging... When the people we love so much move on to heaven, it is so sad. We miss them so much... Every minute of every day...

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Multiple Losses.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!