7 weeks................................

when we first met

when we first met

In seven weeks my whole life changed I lost so much the day my darling husband passed away, but haven't we all?

All of you reading this know how I feel; sometimes so sad it physically hurts, so confused because until 2 days ago I really believed he was coming back home that he had gone out and would be back soon. Wishing I could just talk to him for a few moments , asking myself silly questions like "which number do I call to reach your sweetheart?"

In seven weeks the whole world has changed and so has mine. I hate the fact that I am now a w***ow sorry I can't bring myself to type or even say that word as I hate it and I hate even more that I am no longer married.
Like so many I answer the phone, which doesn't ring as much these days, and say "oh right now in this moment I'm ok" Should I be lucky enough that I get a visitor I enjoy their company but as soon as they have gone I cry uncontrollably feeling how empty this house is!

I have just received a poem from my cousin who lost her hubby when she was in her 20's and I would like to share it with you all. So take care and remember.... one step ,one breath one day at a time!

Feel no guilt in laughter
He knows how much you care
Feel no sorrow in a smile
That he's not here to share.

...You cannot grieve forever
He would not want you to
He'd hope that you would carry on
The way you always do.

So talk about the good times
And the ways you showed you cared
The days you spent together
All the happiness you shared.

Let the memories surround you
A word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture
A time, an hour, a day.

That brings him back as clearly
As though he were still here
And fills you with the feelings
That he is always near

For if you keep those memories
You will never be apart
And he will live forever
Locked safe within your heart

Comments for 7 weeks................................

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Feb 05, 2011
by: Anonymous

I lost my husband in late December so I know what you are feeling. The poem is wonderful and I am printing it. Thank you so much. All your comments are true as well. I talk to my husband all the time. We were married 34 years. It is very lonely
without him.

Feb 05, 2011
Loss of spouse
by: Audrey

I just read your story. My heart breaks for you, because I know what you are feeling. Everyday seems so empty without my husband. He has been gone 100 days today . I cry everyday, but I hear his voice in my head and he tells me to get up, get moving. So I do. He was healthy had a simple surgery he had a tumor on his pituitary which wasn't cancer, but he was having a hard time seeing in the one one eye. All was well for weeks then a blood clot to his lungs. I thank God I was there with him, tried so hard to keep him here. Married 30 years in April and I still will celebrate. He is the love of my life and always will be. And I know one day we will be together again as you will be with your husband. They just went home earlier then us. I'm grateful for our four children and five grand babies. Because without them I would be a real basket case. I wish you the best. Take care. Remember he wants you to be happy.

Feb 04, 2011
10 weeks
by: Pam

Thank you so much for sharing that poem. It has been 10 weeks for me today, so I truly know what you are going thru, I am right there with you. I don't get visitors but I do work at a church, so I am lucky that I get to talk to people that truly care about me. I don't make phone calls, but if someone calls me I can talk an hour about my dear hubby, and I do. I still think of myself as married tho, I think I always will. I had to use the "widow" word a couple times and I hate it too. Reminds me of a horrible deadly spider, so I try not to use it either. All we can do is put one foot in front of the other and go on, but I am going to print that poem and put on my dresser, to read every day. I think it will help all of us, so thank you for sharing.

Feb 04, 2011
Beautiful Poem
by: Patricia From Las Vegas

I feel your lost and pain. We all do so have no fear you can always talk to us. We understand, console and comfort one another. Just know that you can say what you feel, feel anyway and if need be yell at the world.
I just had a milestone, dinner out by myself. Have courage and if you don't know I'd be more that happy to share what little I have. I know where your at ~ the world we all knew of has changed, become distorted leaving us days and confused. How can this happen we ask, why?
I read your poem and it brought tears to my eyes. The memories I carry in my heart, the pictures I take out and hold ~ good and bad.
Thank you for sharing and always remember ~
1 step, 1 breath at a time

Feb 04, 2011
7 weeks..........................
by: Donna

Oh how I long for the day when I can smile or laugh without feeling guilty. I sometimes wonder will that day ever come? I wish I could say that I hope it will, but right now I just don't care if it does or not. So again I go one step one breath one day at a time.

Feb 04, 2011
9 weeks today
by: Trish

It's been 9 weeks today for me. This poem is beautiful.
Three weeks after my husband passed away I had a doctor's appointment. I had to write "W" in the marital status field and a full blown anxiety attack ensued. Me a widow? I'm too young to be a widow. I have a 2 and three year old grandson. They're too young to have lost their grandpa.

I find myself feeling guilty ~ or maybe I just don't want to have fun without my husband yet. I don't want to look to the future right now. I can't. I feel like the day after I graduated from high school. I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I do know that I am just not ready to move from where I am now ~ as you said ~ at this very minute. I don't want to be strong. I'm frightened and lonely. That's how I feel today. I know I have to live through this to get to the other side. All I can do for now is the best I can. I can't look too far into the future ~ I have to take it one day at a time. I can't beat myself up for not being stronger. I'm not strong. I hope it will get better but today I'm crying........and that's OK.
One breath, one step at a time.

Feb 04, 2011
5 months Valentines day
by: Judith

The poem is nice but the ending . It's not good enough he's in my heart I want him here so I can kiss him and touch him and hear him breathe next to me. It just hurts too much.

Feb 04, 2011
Day by day...

Oh that is a wonderful poem thank you so much for sharing it with us. I know how hard it is for you right now the loneliness is all encompassing. But I am glad that you found this site hopefully it will bring you some comfort.
Thanks again...

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