Seven years of my life. Seven. I have wasted seven years of my life on a cheating bastard. To make matters worse, he's moving in with her. It has been 2 days. 2 awfully painful days since he blindsided me with "I don't love you anymore. I found another woman." I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking about him with her. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can barely function. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know everyone says time heals all wounds, but what about a fatal wound? I feel like someone has shot be in the chest and blown out my heart. I don't know who will read my story or why I am even writing on a website I stumbled upon. I guess I was trying to find something to ease my pain. It's nice to hear that other people are going through similar situations, but no one will really understand. I'm broken. I feel worthless. I feel like I will never find love again. I feel ugly, unwanted, and not worth loving. How could he do this to me? How? I just want the pain to stop. Please tell me how am I suppose to move forward?
I was in a five year relationship with a guy who cheated on me, who lied, who hit me and my child, who criticized me, who told me I had to weigh a certain amount to show my love for him, and the list goes on!! The first time he broke up with me, I did not want to get back together, he was so upset, I got back together kind of out of pity. Following that the whole relationship was based on his wants and needs. We saw each other when he wanted, we talked when he wanted. To me how to dress, what to eat, what shampoo, perfume, etc to use. He told me I was a bad mom, unorganized, he also told me he loved me!!!! I can't believe I actually found a bit of positive in this man (child). I am so very hurt by all of this, and I too, am feeling do bad, crying, hurt, rejected, ugly, fat, etc... I call this the boyfriend from hell!, and I do know the first time another man displays any of these awful traits, will be the last time he sees me!!! LOVE IS NOT TREATING A PERSON LIKE CRAP!!!Love is putting up with the son of a b...h I put up with! I knew he had problems, I tried to help him, because Loved him! I am so sorry you too have to experience the pain!!! Maybe we can send notes back and forth to help each other cope!
7 years down the drain by: Anonymous
Hey..my husband left me seven months ago for a younger woman..we were married for eleven years. I know how you feeling at this time. I had more sleepless nights than now, lost 25 pounds, and was constantly crying before than now. I still cry when i watch the album of our pictures together with our three year old daughter. I also get scared not being able to find someone who will love me... I dont want to grow older alone. I still cry just thinking how I will take care of myself when I have never worked, I am struggling with the pain just like you. Its worst when I cant pay my rent or my bills because the money is not enough to fullfill the comfort of my child. I get scared just to think imagine my daughter suffering along with me. so i do understand what you going through. I cant tell you if it will eventually stop but I have faith in God that he does not give us more than what we can bare. Just Pray and hope we both be ok.
To Cat by: Anonymous
me and my husband of approx 7 yrs just separated on christmas. I know how you are feeling. It sucks it's not fair. I feel sad most the time, just start crying. Hard to work. I feel for you, I will keep you in my prayers
Reply to posts by: Cat
Thank-you all for your kind words. Of course there is more to the story that I just wasn't able to write at the time. He was cheating on me for over 1.5 years. He proposed to me during the time he was cheating on me with a bunch of other women. I found out and forgave him (Stupid, I know). At this time, the cheating was only sexual. Anyway, after forgiving him, he "stumbled" upon this other girl and hit it off with her. They've been together for the past 2 months behind my back. She knew he was with me, but didn't care. He told me he wanted to make sure it was going to work out with this other girl before he told me he was leaving me. It's still so painful. I mean, now I am getting sharp chest pains throughout the day and I don't know why. I've lost 10 pounds in 5 days. I still can't eat right. I cry myself to sleep at night. I just want to be done with feeling this way. He took my dog. Our dog. Bastard. I hate him and love him at the same time. I hate feeling these human emotions. If I could erase him from my memory, I would. I know I'm suppose to take it one day at a time, one foot at a time, but I am tripping on each step. I just can't stop asking myself WHY???
7 Years down the drain by: Christina
Cat, I'm so sorry you are hurting. You will make it through this. You've taken a first step in admitting to your feelings by posting. So you are not in denial girl. Just think. He may be making a mistake. If he is or isn't, you have to find a way to pick yourself up and move on and not wait around for him. Go to work, join the gym, just hang out with friends or family. I will tell you one thing. When these guys see the person they hurt get up and move on, it will make them stop and think, "hell, she must of not loved me so much" Don't even think about getting involved or trying to hurt him back. Let him feel like you don't give a crap! (even though you do) That in turn will hurt his little feelings. What a jerk. Take inventory of yourself too. This sucks. And it hurts like HELL! but gotta do it to make yourself heal.Make some changes in your life. Do things that YOU want to do. Please keep posting girl. Read up! You will be fine. And 7 years is a long time but girl look at it as looking in the rear view mirror in your car. Better things are ahead for you if you let them happen. Take care...and God Bless
It will get better by: Anonymous
Hi Cat, my name is Alegria we have a similar situation I too was broken hearted. I was with my ex fiancée for 10 years! Here I am now and trying to live day by day. I know it's tough and it's not true that time will heal your pain because it is up to us to change it. I know how it feels the pain is just unbearable that sometimes we ask ourselves why me? I still love him but I realized that I can't control him or even the situation and that's when I started thinking that I need to take care of myself and be surrounded with positive people. Take it day by day and it will get better... Let all the stages of grief take you and don't avoid them and remember you are not alone! Cat, it's hard and there's no denial to that but we are here to listen and I'll pray for you.
17 Years down the drain by: Anonymous
Please remember that no matter what has happened things will get better. I was married for 14 years, with my husband for 17, he is heading for rehab, left me for sex, drugs and alcohol. I was devastated but now not so much. He left once the day before Thanksgiving, came back in February when I had a car accident, within 90 days he was gone again. Sex, drugs and booze. It has gotten better in the last six months, I still cry at night but it is better. I am filling my days, I am older, 57, so I joined a red hatters club, go to church each Sunday, I am one of the lucky ones I will be able to go for the divorce. My husband has a peace order against him, he apparently date assaulted, sex assaulted and stalked a 44 year old woman - I am so lucky to be away from him! You will find out in time that this is what is supposed to be. At first it is difficult, my husband left me the day before Thanksgiving last year but God has reasons for what he does, we just have to put one foot in front of the other and move forward until we see what he has in store for us. Laugh, pray and try not to be bitter, I know I was at first and the only thing it did was give me wrinkles! Seriously, keep pushing forward - I still love my husband but right now I am glad he is not in my life. I do not want to see harm come to him but I don't want harm to come to me either! There is a better place out there, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will see. This month it will be one year, minus the three months he came home as a stranger - on drugs, etc., and I didn't know what was wrong with him. God kept me safe and he will watch over you too. Take care and laugh a little each day. It actually does get easier!
Better 7 yrs than 7 yrs and one day. by: Anonymous
Cat, you should not be feeling worthless. He is the worthless one and not worthy of your love. It's so sad now but in time you will find that you are better off and can find someone who will truly love you . It's horrible to realize you were just a stop over until he found something else. In time I pray you find you deserve so much more and will find it.
