7 years down the drain

by Cat

Seven years of my life. Seven. I have wasted seven years of my life on a cheating bastard. To make matters worse, he's moving in with her. It has been 2 days. 2 awfully painful days since he blindsided me with "I don't love you anymore. I found another woman." I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking about him with her. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can barely function. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know everyone says time heals all wounds, but what about a fatal wound? I feel like someone has shot be in the chest and blown out my heart. I don't know who will read my story or why I am even writing on a website I stumbled upon. I guess I was trying to find something to ease my pain. It's nice to hear that other people are going through similar situations, but no one will really understand. I'm broken. I feel worthless. I feel like I will never find love again. I feel ugly, unwanted, and not worth loving. How could he do this to me? How? I just want the pain to stop. Please tell me how am I suppose to move forward?

Comments for 7 years down the drain

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Sep 28, 2014
7yrs given moments to loose
by: Anonymous

This story is a mirror of what has happened to me I met my man after my Husband had died I was lonely and vulnerable he swept me off my feet and gave me something to live for he was lovely and I thought how lucky I was to meet someone so nice we had so much in common I fell in love like I had never loved before but after 3yrs he left me for another woman I was heartbroken I couldn't believe he could do this to me he introduced me to his family I became nanny to his 3 youngest grandchildren and that meant nothing to him. after 6 months he came back and said he had made a mistake and it was me he wanted to be with,well I was over the moon and guess what 4yrs later he has left me for the same woman.This was nine months ago and I can't get over it I cry all the time I have no interest in anything I drink far too much I have no real friends and totally lost why what is she giving him I didn't I adored him and did everything to make his life good and the laugh is we are both 71yrs old not exactly young and have a lifetime ahead

May 20, 2013
My boy friend of 6 years left me and my son
by: Anonymous

My relationship with my ex had its ups and downs we have split on many occasions and made up within one day Xmas 2012 and we did split and he was looking for a place to live but then came crying to me sayin I love you Etc so we give it another go things was going better between us but then around march 2013 I notice he was always on his phone txtin but dint think nothing of it then I starting noticing he was getting very distant and snapped at me but was still making out that every thing was ok he is a spiritual guy and he went to a reiki corse in march where he met a 40 yr old women called Jennifer they had been talking for a bit I did not kno about her until he received a txt on his phone at 11 at night saying its not that your to young! I confronted him about it he said they met a week ago but I've spoken to her and she said 2 weeks ago he told me he had feelings for her I said how can u have feelings for someone one you have just met I spoke to her on fb as I was concerned about my family getting broken up she said the the we're only spiritually connected that she has no interest in him like that I do believe that it's one sided he is 3 yrs younger than her son he's 26 but she said out of respect she would not contact him any more she did delete him off fb but I have learned that they do txt each other as they have the same spiritual group of friends he told me nothing's goin on I do believe it but then why is he coming to me flirting staring at me in a loving way asking me questions about what I've been doin on my weekend huggin kisses me then we did have sex but then he said he did not regrett it but he don't want to string me along he just keeps flirting with me telling me he still has feelings for me he's the one that left me and my son and told me to move on then he's doin all of this I obviously do care for him as he was my first boyfriend met him when I was 18 so I had to tell him that the flirting was not acceptable we can't be friends if your goin to do that as things are still very raw it not fair on me as I'm the one who will be left hurting unable to move on I said to him ate the end of the day you was the one who left your family he said I didn't leave we have seperated and il always be here for my family I'm just confuesed any good advice would be appreciated

Jan 27, 2013
I Hope this help!
by: Anonymous

I am going trough this right now! my soon to be my ex husband broke up with me and ask for the divorce. not only he did that but also he abuse me physic and emotional. Humiliated and discriminated me. Then a week after I find out he had another woman. It was the most horrible thing that I ever experience in my life. I can feel your pain because I am feeling the same pain. four months ago I was crying every day, I could not eat, and sleep. I hardly get up the bed and I had lost so much weight. I stop contact him and I am started to feel better at the least I do not cry every day. My chest hurt but not so much as used to be and i accept the reality. YOU know ladies because he does not deserve my tears, my suffered, and my love. I am great woman and I know he will never find a woman like me! right now I might be sad, messing him, crying. I might not be happy as he is right not, but i know that I am not going to be like this my hole life. That this is temporally and I will be more happy than him. It is what is it!!! I know this is going to make me more strong than ever ,and i will be positive for the rest of my life no matter what!

Oct 16, 2012
My first comment ever!!!!
by: Anonymous

My husband left me almost 13 months ago. I know the pain and hurt you feel! The " whore" he left me for went around the bar and gave oral sex to three or four guys the first night he meet her- classy,huh? If that's what he wants over a beautiful classy hard working woman- have at it!!! I work with the public and everyone I've told my story to that has walked these hard painful roads of betrayal say the same thing- time will heal. True, I still have awful days, but it's getting better. Educate yourself-men cheat b/c of insecurities within themselves. Better yourself, put your short comings in your marriage into what you did and didn't do into light so you know how to improve yourself for future relationships. Don't beat yourself up- start taking care of you- put that energy you used to put into him and your marriage into yourself! It'll get better!!!

Jul 08, 2012
Never again
by: Anonymous

**** lIfe it sucks in the beginning and all the way up to the day that you die but when your counterpart leaves you with a **** you and goodbye. sometime life can feel like its not worth living anymore believe it or not especially if your life and desision making revolved around that person shit I feel like I wasted my whole damn life and was always willing to give second chances but all water under the bridge just remember Life WILL NEVER GIVE YOU MORE THAN U CAN BEAR UNLESS IT'S YOUR TIME...but True enough life will **** u up

May 24, 2012
Identical Situation
by: Yoshi

Cat, your story is identical to mine. Except my ex-husband has cheated our entire 10yr relationship with nine other women. But he too said he needed to find out if it was going to work with this girl before he left me. And they too were dating for two months behind my back. I also have two young children, 5 and 4 and I have been a housewife for 7 of those years. I just had to get rid of our two dogs because I cannot take care of them properly. He was my best friend. I loved hanging out with him. If felt like I was having a limb amputated. When he left it blindsided me and its only been 2 weeks, but I feel like the pain will never go away. I allowed my self to be so immersed in him, that now that he is gone I feel lost like I am wandering around. He comes to see the kids and it sickens me to think he is with her. I feel so alone, I want my best friend to comfort me, but he is the one who caused all this pain. I am so confused and hurt and lost. I can relate to how you feel and I am sorry you are going through this.

Mar 18, 2012
I totally understand!!!
by: Crushed

I was in a five year relationship with a guy who cheated on me, who lied, who hit me and my child, who criticized me, who told me I had to weigh a certain amount to show my love for him, and the list goes on!! The first time he broke up with me, I did not want to get back together, he was so upset, I got back together kind of out of pity. Following that the whole relationship was based on his wants and needs. We saw each other when he wanted, we talked when he wanted. To me how to dress, what to eat, what shampoo, perfume, etc to use. He told me I was a bad mom, unorganized, he also told me he loved me!!!! I can't believe I actually found a bit of positive in this man (child). I am so very hurt by all of this, and I too, am feeling do bad, crying, hurt, rejected, ugly, fat, etc... I call this the boyfriend from hell!, and I do know the first time another man displays any of these awful traits, will be the last time he sees me!!! LOVE IS NOT TREATING A PERSON LIKE CRAP!!!Love is putting up with the son of a b...h I put up with! I knew he had problems, I tried to help him, because Loved him! I am so sorry you too have to experience the pain!!! Maybe we can send notes back and forth to help each other cope!

Mar 08, 2012
7 years down the drain
by: Anonymous

Hey..my husband left me seven months ago for a younger woman..we were married for eleven years. I know how you feeling at this time. I had more sleepless nights than now, lost 25 pounds, and was constantly crying before than now. I still cry when i watch the album of our pictures together with our three year old daughter. I also get scared not being able to find someone who will love me... I dont want to grow older alone. I still cry just thinking how I will take care of myself when I have never worked, I am struggling with the pain just like you. Its worst when I cant pay my rent or my bills because the money is not enough to fullfill the comfort of my child. I get scared just to think imagine my daughter suffering along with me. so i do understand what you going through. I cant tell you if it will eventually stop but I have faith in God that he does not give us more than what we can bare. Just Pray and hope we both be ok.

Dec 29, 2011
To Cat
by: Anonymous

me and my husband of approx 7 yrs just separated on christmas. I know how you are feeling. It sucks it's not fair. I feel sad most the time, just start crying. Hard to work. I feel for you, I will keep you in my prayers

Nov 20, 2011
Reply to posts
by: Cat

Thank-you all for your kind words. Of course there is more to the story that I just wasn't able to write at the time. He was cheating on me for over 1.5 years. He proposed to me during the time he was cheating on me with a bunch of other women. I found out and forgave him (Stupid, I know). At this time, the cheating was only sexual. Anyway, after forgiving him, he "stumbled" upon this other girl and hit it off with her. They've been together for the past 2 months behind my back. She knew he was with me, but didn't care. He told me he wanted to make sure it was going to work out with this other girl before he told me he was leaving me. It's still so painful. I mean, now I am getting sharp chest pains throughout the day and I don't know why. I've lost 10 pounds in 5 days. I still can't eat right. I cry myself to sleep at night. I just want to be done with feeling this way. He took my dog. Our dog. Bastard. I hate him and love him at the same time. I hate feeling these human emotions. If I could erase him from my memory, I would. I know I'm suppose to take it one day at a time, one foot at a time, but I am tripping on each step. I just can't stop asking myself WHY???

Nov 20, 2011
7 Years down the drain
by: Christina

Cat, I'm so sorry you are hurting. You will make it through this. You've taken a first step in admitting to your feelings by posting. So you are not in denial girl. Just think. He may be making a mistake. If he is or isn't, you have to find a way to pick yourself up and move on and not wait around for him. Go to work, join the gym, just hang out with friends or family. I will tell you one thing. When these guys see the person they hurt get up and move on, it will make them stop and think, "hell, she must of not loved me so much" Don't even think about getting involved or trying to hurt him back. Let him feel like you don't give a crap! (even though you do) That in turn will hurt his little feelings. What a jerk. Take inventory of yourself too. This sucks. And it hurts like HELL! but gotta do it to make yourself heal.Make some changes in your life. Do things that YOU want to do. Please keep posting girl. Read up! You will be fine. And 7 years is a long time but girl look at it as looking in the rear view mirror in your car. Better things are ahead for you if you let them happen. Take care...and God Bless

Nov 18, 2011
It will get better
by: Anonymous

Hi Cat, my name is Alegria we have a similar situation I too was broken hearted. I was with my ex fiancée for 10 years! Here I am now and trying to live day by day. I know it's tough and it's not true that time will heal your pain because it is up to us to change it. I know how it feels the pain is just unbearable that sometimes we ask ourselves why me? I still love him but I realized that I can't control him or even the situation and that's when I started thinking that I need to take care of myself and be surrounded with positive people. Take it day by day and it will get better... Let all the stages of grief take you and don't avoid them and remember you are not alone! Cat, it's hard and there's no denial to that but we are here to listen and I'll pray for you.

Nov 18, 2011
17 Years down the drain
by: Anonymous

Please remember that no matter what has happened things will get better. I was married for 14 years, with my husband for 17, he is heading for rehab, left me for sex, drugs and alcohol. I was devastated but now not so much. He left once the day before Thanksgiving, came back in February when I had a car accident, within 90 days he was gone again. Sex, drugs and booze. It has gotten better in the last six months, I still cry at night but it is better. I am filling my days, I am older, 57, so I joined a red hatters club, go to church each Sunday, I am one of the lucky ones I will be able to go for the divorce. My husband has a peace order against him, he apparently date assaulted, sex assaulted and stalked a 44 year old woman - I am so lucky to be away from him! You will find out in time that this is what is supposed to be. At first it is difficult, my husband left me the day before Thanksgiving last year but God has reasons for what he does, we just have to put one foot in front of the other and move forward until we see what he has in store for us. Laugh, pray and try not to be bitter, I know I was at first and the only thing it did was give me wrinkles! Seriously, keep pushing forward - I still love my husband but right now I am glad he is not in my life. I do not want to see harm come to him but I don't want harm to come to me either! There is a better place out there, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you will see. This month it will be one year, minus the three months he came home as a stranger - on drugs, etc., and I didn't know what was wrong with him. God kept me safe and he will watch over you too. Take care and laugh a little each day. It actually does get easier!

Nov 18, 2011
Better 7 yrs than 7 yrs and one day.
by: Anonymous

Cat, you should not be feeling worthless. He is the worthless one and not worthy of your love. It's so sad now but in time you will find that you are better off and can find someone who will truly love you . It's horrible to realize you were just a stop over until he found something else. In time I pray you find you deserve so much more and will find it.

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