8 LOSSES IN 7 MONTHS.....BEYOND DEPRESSED
I had spent the last couple days with my grandmother who was on life support, yet when they took her off of the machine she started breathing on her own. The following day they had to put her back on & then on February 6, 2012 I was at work & received a phone call at 10:06am telling me my grandmother had just passed. I was BEYOND HEART-BROKEN. She died 1 month before my father was scheduled to come home from prison that we both hadn't seen in 10 years. Yet something wasn't right because my father couldn't come to the funeral, we never knew why until the following day. My step mom told us our father was dying from cancer & they wouldn't let him come home. March 8, 2012 I turned 25 that same day I along with the rest of younger siblings were told he wasn't expected to make it through the night the very next morning he died & his last words were "Today is my baby's birthday she's going to be 25!". I never grieved enough for my grandma & here my father was dead too. The next month my uncle died from cirrhosis of the liver on the 18th & 1 of my best friends died on the 19th from congestive heart failure. I didn't think I was going to survive another day with all of these deaths. Things got even worse in May 1 of my closest cousins who was 8 months pregnant discovered her baby no longer had a heartbeat & she delivered a still born. Then things started looking better June came no deaths I was feeling a little better we got almost to the end of July & it happened. One of my younger brothers was almost killed he was shot in the face by 1 of my close friends at least I thought he was & the bullets shattered every bone in his face, but he survived THANK GOD!! Then it happened 1 of my younger cousins was killed at 18 shot in the head 2 times. I couldn't breathe I was so shocked that I was actually speechless! August comes yet another one hits another uncle of mine died he had cancer as well & we never knew it until he ended up in the hospital on life support & he didn't make it. Finally September comes & everything was like a blur 1 of my cousins commits suicide at 20 years old. No note no reasoning that we know of nothing. At this point I find myself crying myself to sleep at night, not wanting to wake up & face reality and alllllllways wishing I could turn back time & erase this nightmare. I don’t think anyone could possibly understand how much hurt, anger, & depression I have inside of me but the people in my family. I would like to think it gets better but it doesn't it gets worse as time goes on. Thanks for reading my story & I just want everyone to know to tell everyone you know you love them because you never know when your time or their time will come.