8 Months and It feels like Yesterday
My Guardian Angel, Watch Over Him Until Were Together
Then: June 21, 2010 ~ Now: February 21, 2011
8 Months ago my life was throw into a never ending spiral pushing and moving me into the unknown depths of my life I would ever known I had.
I am getting a little bit stronger each day and I try to have a positive attitude, but now I'm moving out into a life of "My Apartment". Now the "Alone" I feel with Billy gone is reflected in my living status. I'm alone each night and again each morning so now its just a different place, another 4 walls to look at will be the only difference. I've tried to do my life each day. I'm a sleepwalker in this time I call my life.
Because as I see it, its time, time, time and I go on.
All I can think of is back then and the I remembers.
I've screamed in my head, cried on my pillow and it feels like my heart is breaking all over again. I see more and feel more yet I'm forever in pain still wondering what am I suppose to do. I've read the books, talked to everybody and anybody who will listen and even some that won't but I haven't a clue what I'm to do. I'm lost, being pushed and pulled in every direction with no destination. I ask myself "Why" but as we all know, no one will be able to answer that question.
The tears come and go and I try to keep them in check because it embarrasses those around me. No one knows what to say or do. They think 8 months is a long time. It's one second, one minute and just a moment away from when he was here with me. I'm lost in the past, speaking to him like he's here and wishing I could just kiss him one more time, touch him one more time. So tonight I will hope to see him in my dreams, but until were together, forever my guardian angel will watch over him.
always, 1 step, 1 breath at a time