8 weeks

by Karynn

Its been 8 weeks today since I lost the best part of me, my husband. Yesterday I thought I was doing pretty good, but today is another story. I feel so lost and alone, crying all the time and just looking for some kind of sign from him that he is near. This probably sounds crazy, but I just miss him so much.I want to dream of him but cant, I cant remember his voice and this kills me.My daughter had a dream that he came home and said he had just been working but that he was watching us, I know its not true but I cant quit thinking about it. I hate this new life, I want my old one back.

Comments for 8 weeks

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Aug 18, 2013
8 Weeks Husband Passed away
by: Anonymous

I miss my husband so much it hurts to the core of my being. He was my best Friend. He died so suddenly from cloded arteries to his heart and lungs. He loved me for who I was and not who I was not. He taught me so many things in life and about God and Jesus. I was lucky to have him in my life for 12 years. He was a kind soul and helped me through difficult times in my life. I feel he was a seeker and found the answers he needed to go to the next plane. God needed him hom. I will always miss my Boo Bear.

Mar 31, 2011
I ask every night and than i have stopped asking
by: Anonymous

Every night i ask for my husband to come to me, give me a sign. People around me have had dreams about him, people i know that have lost their spouse just recently have signs and dreams. I have had nothing but nightmares in the beginning. Now 8 months later...by handsome prince still has not come to me. Why? I keep asking and than i stopped because i am mad, i need to see him, hear him, touch him one last time the way he loved me, held me and made me feel so secure and the luckiest woman in the world. We were married for 1 yr and 2 weeks and he was taken from me, his children, his friends and families. Please tell me it's ok, how do i know until we meet again.

Mar 31, 2011
Each day is different
by: Lynn

I lost my husband 8 months ago in a construction accident. the love of my life, my best friend my my hero! I waited until i was 40 to marry him, we were married 1 yr and 2 weeks. every day is an emotional roller coaster and it scares the hell out of me. People just don't understand and never want them to ever have to join the horrible group of ours and than there are days i wish Yes i want you to go through this because than maybe just maybe you will understand and stop trying to heal me, stop trying to push me or tell me what, where and when to do things!
Please be patient with me; I need to grieve in my own way and in my own time. Please don't take away my grief or try to fix my pain. The best thing you can do is listen to me and let me cry on your shoulder. Don't be afraid to cry with me. Your tears will tell me how much you care. Please forgive me if I seem insensitive to your problems. I feel depleted and drained, like an empty vessel, with nothing left to give. Please let me express my feelings and talk about my memories. Feel free to share your own stories of Randy with me. I need to hear them. Please understand why I must turn a deaf ear to criticism or tired clichés. I can't handle another person telling me that time heals all wounds. Please don't try to find the "right" words to say to me. There's nothing you can say to take away the hurt. What I need are hugs, not words. Please don't push me to do things I'm not ready to do, or feel hurt if I seem withdrawn. This is a necessary part of my recovery. Please don't stop calling me. You might think you're respecting my privacy, but to me it feels like abandonment. Please don't expect me to be the same as I was before. I've been through a traumatic experience and I'm a different person. Please accept me for who I am today. Pray with me and for me. Should I falter in my own faith, let me lean on yours. In return for your loving support I promise that, after I've worked through my grief, I will be a more loving, caring, sensitive, and compassionate friend-because I have learned from the best my husband my hero!

Mar 27, 2011
Dreams will come
by: Terri

I lost my husband approx. 3 months ago and spoke to him every night before I went to bed asking him to please come to me in my dreams. Last might he did. I dreamed we renewed our wedding vows. That dream is what possessed me to come to this website today. I feel like I have started the grieving process all over again. All I can tell you is that there are those of us out there that are in a club we never wanted to join but are the only ones that can understand your pain. May God bless you and you family and I will keep you in my prayers.

Mar 27, 2011
Same Here
by: Patti

I know exactly how you feel. It's been 4 months for me. One day I think I'm doing OK....the next day I wish I didn't wake up that morning. This is such an emotional mess ~ emotions all over the place. Friday I woke up with the best feeling ~ went out to do some errands that I put off for far too long ~ came back to my car and it wouldn't start. I sat in my car and cried for 20 minutes. If my husband were still her he would've been to my side in no time and taken care of everything. I got my car problem taken care of (nothing major). That evening I went to the grocery store. I walked down an aisle and a huge display of Oreo cookies hit me in the face. I lost it. My husband loved Oreos. Let's just say when I checked out they didn't ask me if I wanted paper or plastic. I was a mess. I think I frightened the checker and the poor guy bagging my groceries. So one good day followed by one terrible day. Little things that didn't used to bother me are devastating to me now. Why?? Because my husband isn't here.
I want my old life back too. I've said that to myself (only myself) 20 times since that horrible day. I often wonder what I would be doing if he hadn't died and I know that's not healthy. This grief thing is a lot of work. Some days I'm up for it ~ but most days not.
I continue to pray for all the widows on this site that God may bring us all some peace. We've all suffered a huge blow and deserve happiness.......but how do we do it? One step, one breath at a time.

Mar 27, 2011
8 Weeks
by: M Mack


I'm so sorry for your loss. When you love someone so dearly your heart breaks when they are gone. You are going through the stages of grief. Let it take you wherever it wants for now. I went through this part of grief too. I forgot his voice, what he looked like when he was tired, how it felt to be held when I needed comfort. All of a sudden I realized I never forgot one thing and I was still in the numb stage like being in a protective cloud. I remember it all like yesterday, everything about him and I'll never forget.

He is around you in spirit and your daughters dream was a visitation. He was letting you know he's got and eye on you guys and loves you. I know I sound like a nut but I do believe in the afterlife. I've had so many signs and at first didn't recognize them. It took me forever to see him in a dream. It wasn't any exchange of words, he just looked at me from a distance. Maybe if our loved ones were making themselves known to us constantly, we may not let go.

Hang in there and take treat yourself as best you can. The road is long and hard - you will never be the same person you were. There is always a part of you missing and you will get used to that a little at a time. Don't force it, take one breath, one day at a time and you will survive the pain. My prayers and hugs for you.

Mar 27, 2011
The old life
by: Judy


Of course you want your old life back. We all do. My love has been gone 15 months, and although I am moving along pretty well, there are little moments that I pine away for our old life together. Weekends are especially difficult for me. I hate Sunday night where you are kinda buttoning up from the weekend activities and getting ready for the new week. We used to often spend these propped up in bed with books, which we passed back and forth with editorial comment. I still spend many a Sunday night reading but I truly miss my book club partner.

I have looked in vain for a sign from him that he is near but I have seen nothing. Maybe the Lord feels I am strong enough to go on without this, I don't know. Barry loved birds and now when I see a beautiful or unusual bird I take that to be a sign that he is near me. On Friday I saw a gorgeous blue jay taking a bath in the lawn run off puddle from the mortuary located next to our office building. The sun was bright, his feathers shone in the sun and the little jay looked like he was having a ball. If this is Barry coming to visit I'll take it. He knows that sight would make me smile.

I just re-read this and I sound a little nutzy. But take comfort where you can. This is a tough road, but we are all here cheering you on.


Mar 27, 2011
This is grief, it's normal how you feel
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry about your loss. Grief will do all sorts of things to you. The loneliness that you feel, the fear that you won't remember his voice, your daughter's dreams - it's all normal. Do what you need to in order to grieve, this is is your time to take care of yourself and not care what others think.

I hope that you find fond memories to help you through this time. It will get less painful but it will never be the same.

Mar 26, 2011
8 months for me
by: Yvonne

I know what you are saying. I just wrote One day up, the next down. I feel your pain and wish we didn't have to feel this pain. You feel OK one minute and the next you are right back at the beginning. My heart goes out to you.

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