8 years and im still in denial as to why she had to pass away.

by krissi
(washington )

it was the end of august when i got a call from my grandma telling me that my grandmother had had a stroke and was in the hospital. I went to the hospital but was not allowed to see her because they said i was to young and should remember the good stuff and that seeing her the way she was would make me miss her even more. I wasn't allowed to see her for the two weeks she was in the hospital which i thought was the worst thing ever but the worst part was not knowing she had passed until two weeks later. My great grandma was like my mom she was always there for me and helped me whenever i needed it. She passed away September 6th 2006 a month before my 12th birthday. Ever since she passed away life hasn't been the same. It was as if half my heart was ripped out when i found out what happened. I haven't been the same since. I am never happy and don't want to do anything anymore. All i want to do is get over what happened and be happy again. I miss my old self when she was still alive and here.

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Aug 13, 2014
8 years and i'm still in denial as to why she had to pass away.
by: Doreen UK

Krissi I am so sorry for your loss of your great grandmother. The way you were treated when you were 12yrs. old was wrong. It shouldn't have happened. Your mother should have taken the responsibility to put this nurse right and put some measure in place for you to see your grandmother. What happened 8yrs. ago has left you depressed and understandably angry at the way you were treated as if you were not a person with feelings. As you have matured you will see more and more the unreasonable attitude towards you as a little person. You will continue to suffer and lose out on quality of life if you do nothing. As an adult you can now (without your parents permission) go and see a counsellor and work with them to untangle the emotions and feelings you have locked up inside and allow you to grieve 8yrs. later. Until you grieve you will not be able to move forward. You will limit your life and leave it empty. You should also let your mother or father know what has happened to you in these last 8yrs. and how you feel today. They need to bear some of the responsibility for how you feel.
I Have done counselling so know that often it helps if we can confront the situations that has caused us pain. If it is possible to confront this person (even 8yrs. later.) and let her know how you feel and what the information she gave you has affected your life will help your recovery. She denied you the right to see your great grandmother and pay your respects to her. She denied you the right as a person to honour how you felt about your great grandmother for your own emotional well being. You must try through your life to CONFRONT situations you are not happy or comfortable with that affects your life. You have the right. I learned this from my own journey in counselling and working in a counselling centre. "We have the right." You were young at the time and could do nothing but accept what you were given. Don't live the rest of your life like this. You are an adult. You can now challenge people and situations that is not right for you. I was a child and know how it feels to not be valued. I also know as a mother I passed on my same insecurities to my children and I give them the permission to challenge me about any hurts they have.
Your denial about why your great grandmother died will become clearer with counselling and your grief will start. You are suffering because you can only think as a 12yr old girl. Despite being 20yrs. now. You are stuck in grief. It will work out in the end and you will get your life back and become that mature young lady who I hope will go and live her life well and find the happiness she deserves.

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