8 years not sure what it really was
by misty m
(benton harbor, mi )
Me and my husband met each other young he was 21 I was 19. we dated he proposed early, I said yes. at this time we were partying I was clinically depressed and rebelling at this time. not to shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I straightened up and stopped partying.he kind of did.we got married while i was pregnant and that night be abused me for the first time. after I had my daughter he was still drinking and would get abusive didnt help out with her or the house. I was alone no phone or tv or friends around. I went to school to become a medical assistant. then he lost his job, blamed me for it and didnt bother looking for another job, we got evicted, his dad and stepmom let us stay in their basement while he joined the army. he did and i raised our daughter alone. he got deployed to Korea immediately after basic training for a year,in which the whole time he spent money, got wasted and cheated on me. he came home long enough to get me pregnant. then deployed to Iraq for 15 months.he was still emotionally and verbally abusive and distant while over seas. i was alone in Missouri with two children. i started hanging out with some people i meant, got drunk one night and cheated on him. i felt horrible. he continued to be abusive and i wanted a divorce but he talked me into staying. he got kicked out of the army for drinking and domestic violence. we moved to Michigan. he decided to get on disability and not go to school he was the stay at home dad. i worked full time. he barely cleaned the house, and started smoking medical marijuana. we argued a lot. and eventually in the last month, i though things were getting better, then he started acting weird especially when i had a whole week off of work. he started telling me he wasnt happy. he wanted a divorce, he didnt know what he wanted. he loved me but wasnt sure. mind games. i found out he was having an affair right after he denied it and agreed to marraige counseling. then when i found out he wanted a divorce. i took the kids to stay at my parents for the weekend. i was to drop them off with him during my work day and walked in to pot all over the house and him having weird mood swings he was cussing at me and i called the cops they made him give me the kids back, cps got involved and up until yesterday they wouldnt let me drop the kids off to him without supervision. of course he hid everything and cleaned the house before he let cps in so they said it was safe. we have arranged to have him watch the kids while i am at work, my parents are moving out of thier big nice home in a couple of weeks. and my options are finding an apt that i can afford or move in with my husband again back into our home that we rent. which i dont want to deal with harassment and abuse. i do not know him anymore, yes he has been mean in the past yes we have argued, but this was a sudden from i love you to i dont love you and then he showed no emotion at all when i cried and cried about his affair or him telling me he wanted a divorce. how did he just up and decide he doesnt love me? did he ever love me? i mean i am a christian, i am funny, i work hard, have a career, morals, goals, and this girl he is with is younger, lives with her mom and brother and her 1 year old daughter waitresses and they all smoke pot?? and she is better than his wife of almost 8 years. our anniversary is this month. I dont know why i ever agreed to take him back only to have him cheat, lie and break my heart. i am trying to find a lawyer and apply for assistance so i can move on. i just want to fast forward.