8 Years

Hi ther my name is Stephanie and It's been 8 years since my grandma passed away and I still can not get over it.
This is my story, On July 15th 2003, my bestfriend got hit and killed on a highway I was 11, It tore me to peices and it hurt me so badly and that's when it started I felt so lost and didn't know what to do so I started to act out in anger and hurt and started doing things that a normal 11 year old should not be doing, drinking smoking staying out till all hours of the night making my family worried about me I would be brought home by police at 6am and everything I was just lashing out I couldn't believe it I lost my bestfriend and I'm only 11, It really hurt my grandma and she told me that everything was going to be ok and that at least I had my family. Well life went on and still throught the days It got a little easier to swallow and then it got better....In July the next year(2004) I went on a trip to Nova Scotia Ontario, and my grandma was a little sick when I was leaving. I left on July 6th and would be gone until July 14th, when I came back my grandma wasn't at my home where she lived, I asked my mother where she was and she replied "she is at the hospital,but will be home soon," so i was a little upset at the fact she was not home nut had planned on going to see her the next day (July 15th 2004) When i got up the next day my mom had to go to work and explained to me that we would have to go the next day, so I was a bit sadden by this but agreed. So im at home now with my dad and we get a phone call asking for my mother and its the hospital calling right away I know and I fall to my knees praying its not what i think it is ans sure enough on July 15th 2004 my grandma is pronounsed dead :(.....I cant get over this loss its hurting me so bad.

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Jul 23, 2012
you are a wonderful person
by: Anonymous

Stephanie, you sound like such a wonderful young lady, daughter, friend and grandaughter. To lose a friend at such a young age must of been truly difficult. Considering that circumstance it sounds like you eventually came thru it all a stronger person. I was very close to my nana. She died shortly after I was married. She never made it to my wedding and on my honeymoon, which we decided to go on because she was doing so well, she died. It was awful. My nana was the best, funny, supportive and made me always, always feel so loved. There are just some people in your family that are extra special and she was one of them. That was awhile ago and I still think of her often. I'ts never been quite the same without her. It took me a long time too and at that time I had some other sad stuff going on as well. So here i am many years later with alot of unresolved grief. I don't think I ever really properly grieved for my nana. And when you don't, it always comes back later. Maybe thats what has happened to you? well, first off, dont' feel badly about it being a long time. All of us grieve so differently and for many, many of us it does take years. I would suggest that you talk with someone,,, a social work or therapist who will listen and then might be able to suggest some ideas that will help you deal with the sadness. It's all really normal ... we love peopel so much and it hurts so deeply when they are gone...you never can forget them which is a good thing, but also sometimes can make us sad. you grandmother had a wonderful grandaughter... you wouldn't be hurting so much if you were not a very loving person.

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