9 months on and the tears are falling even more

by sharon

I"m sorry if I go on a bit, but its been 9 months since my brave mum lost her battle with cancer after 15 months of radiotherapy then chemotherapy for a cervical tumour which the doctors said they could hopefully cure or control. sadly they were wrong, as they couldn"t do either as the cells spread throughout her body. I watched helplessly as she struggled to walk and get her breath,and not once did she moan or feel sorry for herself. Ok a lot of people say well she was 77 years old and was lucky to reach that age, and I agree from the posts I have read some mums have been so much younger than my mum so I could say that I was lucky to have her around much longer, but she was still my mum and I loved and still love her and miss her more than words can say. She used to come to work with me as I am a delivery driver and it was great having her company for a few hours a day as she was like a breath of fresh air to have around. I am not the same person as i was when she was alive, it feels like there is nothing left to carry on for and sometimes i long to be with her. All I do is cry every day even when working and i just cannot control it. I see the pain and sadness in her face the few days before she died in the hospital, and still hear her saying to me that she couldnt go on like it for much longer and that she would have to give in sometime, and all i could do was try to be strong for her. It still feels like yesterday that i last saw her but can"t believe its been 9 months. I keep asking her to let me know in some way that she is ok and that she is happy and that she is with my dad who passed away 26 years ago. I so need to know this so i can try and carry on as best i can tho I will always miss her for the rest of my life but at least I would know that she is in a better place and that they are together again.

Comments for 9 months on and the tears are falling even more

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Jun 05, 2013
by: Anonymous

I've only just read your post but I totally understand because I am exactly the same. I lost my mum 11 mths ago after fighting cancer for just under 2 years. I still cry every day and the pain today is just as bad as ever. I just want to be with her.

Apr 14, 2013
your mom
by: Anonymous

My mom just died and dad died in 2011 I have a feeling our parents are reunited with each other. I do have no way to prove it. I feel sad too. My dad died in 2011. my just died also ill for over ten years and seemed fine, but had pheumonia and also Luekemia due to her original disorder with the blood. My dad had vaious health issues too. It is tough to go on. My mom was 80 and that is a comfort, but she was still my mom and I miss her. I have lost both my parents too and t sucks. I pray for both you and I for peace.

Apr 14, 2013
9 months on and the tears are falling even more.
by: Doreen U.K.

Sharon I am sorry for your loss of your mum. Of course you will miss your mum no matter how old she was when she died. It is human nature to want our loved one's to live as long as possible, because they are our family and we need each other. God set it up this way. But we also according to Biblical knowledge are only promised 70yrs. (three score and ten) and if we have life beyond this we are indeed Blessed. My mother died 10yrs. ago and she was 77yrs. I wished she could have lived longer but I was happy she reached the age she did. I felt blessed. My father still lives at 91yrs. with a poor quality of life and he wishes he had died 10years ago when my mother died. He was upset that he lives and my husband died.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 11 months ago to cancer, and I wish he could have enjoyed his retirement and not died so young when his family have all lived into their late 80's. I feel cheated of life with him. But I guess many people may feel that I should be happy that at least I had 44yrs. of marriage. But my husband was working all these years often 6 days a week and sometimes 7days a week. We saw little of each other as he worked long hours and all over our country of England and overseas. When he was due to retire and we had "OUR TIME." then he dies. Sadly this happens to so many people. We have a human nature so will always think in human terms that we wished we could have had more time together.
Your mum is at rest now and safely with your father. Nothing in life can ever hurt them again. This is the only relief that death brings. But the pain is what we who are left have to endure till we can find our way back to live our lives. It won't be easy. It will take time. But we know each day we will be that much closer to our healing from our loss.

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