a bad day.......

by Jen
(N Ireland)

Hello all,

A Bad Day and i sit here in northern Ireland with a chip buttie and im lonely, Really really lonely.
This new life is horrific, unwanted and full of crap!! My bad day brings the fact and a reality that i dont want. Ive been doing really well and i am, but down days hit so hard...

I hope to find happiness again.. im only 40 but really i want someone to share things with.. an invitation to dinner, how freaky would that be.. but its the life we now find ourselves, in but hey loneliness is awful and i dont want to spend my life like this.

I want to smile again...sometime.

Jen xx

Comments for a bad day.......

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Nov 04, 2010
for Jen
by: Mari

Jen, my heart and prayers go put to you. I understand loneliness as I lost my husband on Nov 22 2009, almost a year.It can sure overwhelm a person.

It would be a good idea if you were to join a church and get involved. That is what I have done and I go 4 times a week, manage this complex here and keep very busy. I take on extra work too.I still get lonely, especially late at night when I think of my husband and miss him still something terrible. But a spiritual life helps keeps me filled.

My husband went to be with the Lord on the 22 and my birthday is on the 20th and I decided to have the memorial service for him that day. The baby shower for my grandaughter will be on the 13th at my church and my husband would have been overjoyed with a great grandchild. There is a walkathon with several churches on the 21st and that will lift my heart.

I know loneliness. If I were not busy I would be so intensely lonely. My suggestion is that you might join a church or volunteer. Know too that you are cared about and this is a wonderful board to express your feelings. Take care. Mari

Nov 03, 2010
The same day
by:

Jen,
You and I could be having identical days, you in Ireland and Me in Tappahannock. I know what I need to do but am unsure how to do it. Yesterday I sang a version of "I feel Pretty" But the word wasn't pretty, it did rhyme though. Tired of the ups and downs. Oh look at that beautiful tree look at all the beautiful fall colors yet I am alone with no one to share the glee with. Sorry that is one thing where the kids don't substitute, they are your whole world, its all you have, yet the desire for adult company is over whelming.

I guess we need to make more of our lives to fill that gap of loneliness. As soon as I figure it out I'll letcha know. For now I suppose the acquaintances, the little spurts of conversation will do. One time I talked to a woman in the grocery store for 30 minutes as she spoke of her husband and how wonderful he was...

I do not want to be that person, desperate and needy. I want to be strong and have a life of my own and I hope the same for you.
HH

Nov 03, 2010
a bad day
by: jules

Jen - a chip buttie - luv em. I know how lonely you are - and so young - you have a whole life ahead of you - you need to embrace it - get out, join a club (I have taken up lawn bowls - but you might join something like ten pin or squash or a bridge club - whatever is around you, that has a mixture of people, different ages, sexes - doesn't matter if no one seems to be "just like you" - make friends there, who knows who this may lead to.

This probably sounds a bit simplistic, but life is made up of simple things, simple pleasures, I know nothing will make up for the loss of your love, but go on living, please.

Keep in touch on this forum - it is a lifesaver - it is there 24/7, and such wise people, like Hope for instance.
jules

Nov 02, 2010
May be some day
by: Jen

Hope,

Thanks for your response, as always lovely to hear from you.

I'm two years into this new unwanted life come the 18 Dec and as you say its routine and children most of the time with no time spent on ourselves. I have two teenage girls and they take up most of my afternoons and evenings, but i do have time during the day and wish i could use and stop feeling so useless and vulnerable.

I just need to find something for me.

I'm still living but alot of the time feel im not making the most of it.

Getting out with our friends is great but a constant reminder of what i no longer have and at times i find it hard. I must try and get more involved in things and i must try harder.
Stay strong and as always lovely to hear from you.

Jen

Nov 01, 2010
going solo
by:

Jen,
It is really lonely starting or trying to start this "New Life" that we have been dealt. I have gotten out of the habit of rushing home to tell my honey something but now there are just loads of laundry and mundane stuff to welcome me home. Not sure that I want another person to share things with yet feeling so damn alone more so than before. Dunno if it is the year mark coming up or the seasons change.

Its not just getting through the day as much as coming home and going that's it? This is my life? Not ready to reach out and enter the real and social world, perhaps unable or unwilling with a child.

If you do not have children to tend to. What about joining a club of some sort. Something of interest or volunteering, just to be part of something besides your own head. I don't know the cure to loneliness except to force your way out into the world and be part of it.

I feel as If I am stuck somewhere between that old and the new life in limbo.

You will go out to dinner and have various invitations if your ready. They will come, just get out there.
HH

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