A Difficult Weekend

by Mary
(Ocean, NJ)

My loving husband, Gene passed away on Dec.8,2010 after being diagnosed with cancer on Oct.15,2010. Gene was a wonderful husband, father, and PopPop. He had a great sense of humor and was kind and generous to all. Our son and three grandchildren live in Virginia and always come to visit NJ (the Jersey Shore) over the 4th of July. We always go to the beach, town fair, and fireworks. My Gene would have a little ceremony in front of our house with the children and the American Flag. He would have the kids pledge allegiance and sing God Bless America. They would just love it! This weekend was just so different. Yes, we went to the beach, town fair, fireworks, but added a trip to the cemetery. It was so very emotional for all of us. Although my son had been to the cemetery several times since Gene's death, it was the first time the children went and the first time my son saw his dad's headstone. How could it be so different this year? To see the grandchildren, who are only 5 and 6 so sad, to see my son breakdown at the cemetery and to have this weekend without my husband was just so difficult. Everyone has now headed back to Virgina and I sit alone with my memories. I was truly blessed to have had a wonderful husband and marriage for 41 years. I have a wonderful family and great friends, but I feel so very much alone. It will be 7 months soon since Gene has been gone and each day is still so very difficult. I have a strong faith in God and know that Gene is at peace, but I just miss him so much. I try to take one day at a time, I know I have no other choice, but this journey is overwhelming. I pray each day for strength and peace of mind. May faith brings my comfort- Gene, I love you and I thank you for loving me and our family. You are always in my heart.

Comments for A Difficult Weekend

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Nov 19, 2013
still grieving after 15 months
by: Cheryl

You're story caught my attention as my husband's name was Gene and we lived in Mt. Laurel for 25 years.
He died in August 2012 of inoperable cancer. We were together for 30 years and when he died is was just 2 1/2 months shy of our 25 wedding anniversary. While he was significantly older than I and we always knew (barring any accident on my part) that he would likely die first, it still a difficult time when the "talk" of his dying finally became a reality. He was in hospice and I had the privilege of taking care of him as he died with dignity at home. The grief was almost too much for me to handle and after counseling, reading many grieving books, and journaling, I started to rebuild my life. I sold our home, moved to Lakewood and closer to my daughter and grandsons, and started volunteering. I THOUGHT I was past the pain of grief and the exhaustion of tears. Boy was I wrong. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and I have been pretty good about getting past the tears. That is until today. It's been 15 months and with the holidays and our anniversary quickly approaching, I'm beginning to feel extreme grief once again. Feeling very depressed, crying and don't want to leave the house. Facing another wedding anniversary alone is bad enough but it is also the day my father died. To make matters worse, both of my parents, two very close friends and my husband died all within a 16 month period. Sometimes I don't think I can take another day of missing them all but especially Gene. This grief thing is like a roller coaster (which I have always hated)...some days you are up and some days you are down. I just have to remember that while today I have returned to grief, tomorrow will likely be better. What they say is true..."you never get over the loss, after time you simply learn to live with it better." Take is easy on yourself and remember that every tear you shed is to honor the memory of the man you loved.

Jul 06, 2011
Just when you think you're in control
by: Anonymous

I too lost my husband in 2010, on November 21st. I have a difficult time getting through the holidays without him here, his birthday come and went in March and I was a basket case. I had thought that by basically running away to see my kids up north, I could escape the pain, but oh how wrong I was. I was distracted by my grandson for the most part while there, but then as soon as I returned back to GA, the pain returned only to seem to be more intense. The pain of loneliness just somehow never seems to go away. It seems for every step I take forward, I fall back 3. Best to you and yours

Jul 05, 2011
difficult weekend
by: Mari

Hi Mary. I am very sorry for your loss.The grieving process takes time and varies with each person. There will be some sadness. The Lord is with you every minute.
I lost my husband a yr and 1/2 ago and I am doing better.It is like an ache in my heart. I have kept busy here with 2 jobs and a lot of grandchildren. My husband loved the grandchildren and would have adored the great grandbaby who is 5 months old. I look at pics with him holding a grandchild now grown. We had some wonderful years together. I am grateful for that. He had a heart attack and diabetes and one night kissed me and said,''I love you so much.'' That was it. In the morning he had gone to be with the Lord.
I see you are from NJ and let me tell you, I miss that place, esp Marlton and Cape May.
Keep posting. We are here for you.
It is a day at a time process. Take care. Your husband is in God's care and keeping .

Jul 05, 2011
7 Months And Holding
by: TrishJ

It was 7 months for me on July 3rd. I seem to miss my husband more as the days go by. Joe was the BBQ king of the family. This year my brother did the honors. He kept saying, "I don't do it as well as Joe right?" I said, "Yes....it's fine." The food tasted good but nothing else about the day was good. Grandpa wasn't there to see his two little grandson's in the parade. They both came running over to me and I was so choked up I couldn't hide it. The tears came...and came...and came.
I too just try to take it one day at a time. When I go to bed at night I thank God for giving me the strength to get through the day. I still am yet to have a day with no tears.
I know that day will come. We have to know that nothing will ever be the same again.
Hoping for some better days for both of us.

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