A few bad weeks
i haven't been here for a while. I have had a few bad weeks. It is almost 10 months since Roger passed away. And the last couple weeks have been hell. I thought I was doing ok with this alone stuff, but lately it is just awful, can't sleep, cry all of the time and miss him more than ever. I look at his spot on the couch where he used to sit and cry. I went to the dentist and broke down because Roger was a painter and I used to help him lay drops etc. When I walked into the dentist office it reminded me that about three months before he passed away WE WERE IN THAT OFFICE PAINTING IT. I WAS A MESS!!! I know my friends say I have to make a life without him, but there is no life without him. I went from a life I loved more than ever to a life i absolutely hate. I don't think I can do this. The pain is horrendous. The problem is we did so much together that it is almost impossible to find something new. Everything I do , everywhere I go he was there and I break down in tears.