A gift on loan

by Rod McAlpine
(Canyon Country Cal)

It was an early Friday morning and I was getting ready to leave for work. I entered my son's room around 6:30. I thought he was sleeping but he was actually moments from the end of his life. As a nurse I knew he was about to die since his lungs were filled with fluid and as I performed mouth to mouth I heard the gurgling sound but kept going on and called 911. I was in shock and knew he was not going to make it. There is no way for any person to prepare for their own child's death, regardless of age. It's been three years since that August morning and now I cope by having faith that I
will see and talk to my son again in heaven or by what ever
divine appointment is ordained. I still have a variety of
emotional experiences such as anger, peace and everything
in between. My son was 18 year old charismatic. People were
attracted to him especially the girls. A gifted musician who completed a master studio CD recording with his friends. I had a hard time listening to his professionally crafted CD the first year after his death. I cried several times a day in private the first year, usually before work and then again at lunch time. I have another son and talking with him time helps in the healing process. I can't wait to see my son again, I also believe what the bible says and that is what keeps me going, it's a promise from God.

Comments for A gift on loan

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Mar 18, 2012
by: Mommy

Leah took her own life December 10, 2009. I was caught off guard. I was in shock for a very long time. Sometimes I still am. Every day I miss her and every day I still tell her I love her. She was kind and naive. I coddled her and thought she deserved it. She did deserve it. She was a vegetarian and cried when she was so hungry she ate a hamburger. I'll never forget the day. She was at a picnic and they only had meat to eat. She called me at home crying and told me what happened. I cried too. What a beautiful child.

Mar 16, 2012
so sorry
by: Jen

thank you for what you wrote it helps me a lot - my son died last year on 10/25/11....he was 23yrs old and I am still in the throws of grief sometimes I feel like I can't make it through but then another day comes and I'm still here. My son had so much potential....he had just completed boot camp for the marines he had his whole life ahead of him but he overdosed on heroin. I still can't get over how he died....I didn't even know he was using that. Anyway, i believe in God and His word if you'd be willing to share what promise God has given to you in His word I would love to hear it.....my email is jmcdonoughrosen@hotmail.com

Mar 16, 2012
Thank You
by: Rose

You touched my heart. I lost my daughter last year. Somedays are better than others. I too have faith and trust that the Lord will bring us together again. I miss her so much some days it is heard to breathe. Other days, I kknow she is in the Lord's hands. Please visit my blog, and post your comments. Taking this journey can be touch. It is good to have friends along the way for stregth and encouragement.

Mar 16, 2012
with all my love
by: Anonymous

My heart really hurts to read your story , how terrible it is a for a mother to see her own child dying and to know it, i just can imagine what u went through, my son will be gone 5 months on the 18th he had a heart attack in the toilet, i didnt know about it , i thought that he had just fainted and when the doctor told me he was no more i just could not face reality i could not go near him it was just unbelievable but i guess we have to live with the hurt and loss till the day we will meet again, i m just waiting for the day i will be with my son again, take care and god bless u

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