A Guardian Angel on earth and in heaven
by Mary Navarro
(Hayward, CA USA )
My guardian angel was and still continues to be my father, the strongest man I know, my very own super man.
Growing up we were tight and knew we couldn't get everything we wanted but we always had what we needed. He was always there supporting anything we wanted to do, never judging us and never making us feel less than or not good enough. He always said "you will receive what you give." We weren't the perfect family but we were a close one... He was the glue that held us together the one that everyone looked up to and the one EVERYONE respected.
Then, on a cold fall day he came to us in pain. He complained of a pain in his shoulder and demanded to go see a doctor, a man that never wanted to see a doctor or drink medicine we knew it was serious.
I approached him to comfort but he put up his brave face and said he was fine. As the days went by he became for uneasy and his patience very thin... He again because to tell us to take him back because the pain was unbearable...
At this point we began to worry and asked the doctors for answers and all they would say is "have him take pain killers, that should do it." We listened but nothing helped. We sought a second opinion and that's when the big test started coming, MRI's, CAT scans, bone scans, blood work, etc...
We were told he had torn his rotator cuff, but all that from a torn ligament, couldn't be... We decided to go to a different hospital where they actually listened to his symptoms and they requested to see the SAME scans and results. That's when our whole family's life came crumbling down...
On November 15th, 2007 my superman was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic cancer. The same cd's that the other hospital reviewed and "studied" revealed that 75% of his body was infected with this disease.. How can you not disclose this to a family who just wanted answers, a family who just wanted to ease their loved ones pain, how?
To see a man you seen working so hard everyday to provide for his family, get up every morning kiss his wife goodbye, take his grand kids to school and then work his own business, to a man that needed help getting out of bed, help to use the restroom, help to wash his body, how can you not feel pain, anger how?
Thanksgiving was our last holiday with our father, that last time to hear his laugh, to see him smile, to feel his touch, to be together as one. He carved the turkey with the little bit of strength he had left because that was what he did every year.
The next night he complained of not being able to breath and I took his blood pressure and pulse and it was elevated to where I knew he needed medical attention. So there I go and call for help. When they came to take him to the hospital he grasped onto the entry way of the bedroom door, then onto the stair way railing with a look on his face like it was the last time we would see each other.
Then the day finally came that the doctor sat us down and asked us to say our goodbyes... How can we say goodbye to someone we are not ready to say it to? I walk into his room and fall to my knees next to him and grasp his hand and tell him he cant leave me, its not fair because I still need him, he seen everyone else grow up, seen their kids and how was he not going to be here for me, his youngest daughter, his baby the one that still needed his guidance... As I was grasping his hands tears ran sown his face, I knew that even though he couldn't open his eyes to see me or open his mouth to answer me he was hearing me and he was crying because he knew it was too soon to leave his little girl.
Then I hear the long beep and my hear broke into a million pieces and knew he couldn't hang on any longer... He didn't want to feel pain anymore and he needed to rest.
My superman lost his battle to Cancer on November 29th,2007 only 2 weeks after being diagnosed... We don't always cherish the moments we have with our loved ones and sometimes we are naive to believe that they will forever be with us. The one thing I do know is that, the guardian angel I had here on earth is now my guardian angel in heaven. The sadness will never go away but he will continue to live through the memories I keep alive in my mind, in my heart and most importantly in my soul.
I love you dad!