A Mother still in grief
by Michelle Garcia
My love Isaac, I got to carry him in my arms for only 6 months and I must say they were the most cherish able moments in my life. But SIDS took him, while I was in school a police officer asked me to go with him so I did.
At that moment the tought of my son came to mind as I burst into tears I asked him if it was about my son and he replied to me,"Yes". My baby boy was in life support he could not breath for himself basically he was brain dead.
But they still wanted to make some test to show us they what they said was true. I could not bare to see how they disconnected him from the machines so I had to leave the room. A nurse came up to me and asked if I tought about donating his organs. Immediatly I said,"No". Yet she began to explain to me about life gift. Minutes later the tought of another mother going through what I whent through was painfull. Knowing that my son can save the life of another baby brought tears to my eyes. And the father of my baby and I decided that that would be the best thing to do. My son saved two lives it joy to my heart that he made a diffrence to someones family. But when the funeral came thats when I hit depression,suicidal emotions and toughts where crossing my mind. I had a Pain inside so big that I hid my self from the world. I could not see no one or hear no one. The sound of other peoples joy made me mad. It took me a long time to get out of depression thill this day I still get it. Life will never be the same. Being a mother was the biggest honor Ive had in my life and after what I when through im scared of having more children. But with the help of my family and God I know that life will bless me with another baby. Isaac would of been 4 years old, he could of been running around and he would of start school already. To all the mothers out there you are not alone.
Sincerely A mother that still griefs M.G