A Mother still in grief

by Michelle Garcia

My love Isaac, I got to carry him in my arms for only 6 months and I must say they were the most cherish able moments in my life. But SIDS took him, while I was in school a police officer asked me to go with him so I did.
At that moment the tought of my son came to mind as I burst into tears I asked him if it was about my son and he replied to me,"Yes". My baby boy was in life support he could not breath for himself basically he was brain dead.
But they still wanted to make some test to show us they what they said was true. I could not bare to see how they disconnected him from the machines so I had to leave the room. A nurse came up to me and asked if I tought about donating his organs. Immediatly I said,"No". Yet she began to explain to me about life gift. Minutes later the tought of another mother going through what I whent through was painfull. Knowing that my son can save the life of another baby brought tears to my eyes. And the father of my baby and I decided that that would be the best thing to do. My son saved two lives it joy to my heart that he made a diffrence to someones family. But when the funeral came thats when I hit depression,suicidal emotions and toughts where crossing my mind. I had a Pain inside so big that I hid my self from the world. I could not see no one or hear no one. The sound of other peoples joy made me mad. It took me a long time to get out of depression thill this day I still get it. Life will never be the same. Being a mother was the biggest honor Ive had in my life and after what I when through im scared of having more children. But with the help of my family and God I know that life will bless me with another baby. Isaac would of been 4 years old, he could of been running around and he would of start school already. To all the mothers out there you are not alone.
Sincerely A mother that still griefs M.G

Comments for A Mother still in grief

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Feb 02, 2013
A Mother still in grief
by: Doreen U.K.

Michelle I am sorry for your loss of your baby son Isaac. I can understand your fear to have more children and this happening again. It is the worst nightmare for a parent trying to cope with a pregnancy and the hope that all will go well for the baby and his early days with the thought that SIDS is always in a mother's mind. This is her FEAR. This is normal and you will find your way back again, but give yourself time to grieve perhaps with the support of a grief counsellor so that you won't have a difficult pregnancy due to grief. Also give your body and emotions time to heal from this tragedy.
I know of a mom who had six and more losses of babies but carried on despite this till she was able to have a baby that could grow up. Most people desire to be parents and the joy of motherhood is so important to a woman. My daughter was deeply depressed when she couldn't have children. She had to endure a painful 5 years then had a boy and then a girl. But I do remember what a difficult time this was for her. I myself had 3 children and the joy of being a mother is the best ever. It will happen for you. Remember to invite God into your situation as He is the one who can make it all come to you. I am sorry for your loss and May God Bless you in the future with children that will be healthy and be a delight to you.

Feb 02, 2013
Your son
by: Kate

My heart goes out to you in love that you had to know this deep great loss of your baby. No words can mend your heart it is a journey of healing we each do on our own at our own pace. If you have another child ,that baby will not take the place of your precious son. Nothing will. A new child will bring a new joy. You will always remember your son,even should you have another. Hugs to you.

Jul 18, 2012
A Mother still in grief
by: Dee U.K.

Michelle, I am sorry for your loss of your baby son Isaac. Depression is another very difficult illness to experience. Depression affects the whole system. Mind, heart, soul, body. It is also hard to recover from. I found counselling the best method to deal with depression. I went too late when I was a mother and so passed this on to my children who ended up having lack of confidence and self esteem issue. Seek counselling to make sure you are in a happier place before having another baby. It is harder to undo the pain of what we as mothers pass on to either unborn children or those who are already here.
You seem to be in recovery. But you will never fully recover. No other child will take the place of Isaac but you will have new memories and the pain of losing Isaac will become less. I wish you eternal peace from your pain and renewed Hope in God to provide you with a child that will change your life. Put your life, the life of any unborn children and children you have in the future in the hands of God. Dedicate them to God and stand back and enjoy parenthood with the blessing of God.

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