A Mother's Journey Thru Grief
by Melanie Rowan
My son Ryan at age 13 went to the Emergency room for an eye injury. He received vicodan. He liked it. He proceeded to find every opiate he could . His favorite was morphine. He then discovered Methadone. I thought I was dealing with a hateful teenager due to a divorce and hormones. About 7 years into it and breaking his door down , fights screaming at him, slapping him, tackling him, soap in his mouth and finally threatening him with jail I gave him ten minutes to tell me the truth. He proceeded to tell me he was buying methadone from a local dealer who went to the clinic and sold his methadone to buy heroin . I took him to a physician for help. I thought he was using the suboxone for this . He did for awhile and follow his treatment plan. He then kept experimenting. Ketamine, poppers, coke, dilaudid, morphine, bath salts, mushrooms who knows what else? I confronted him again in Dec 2011 and took him to rehab . He would not stay. HE promised to get clean. He did for two months. He then went deeper. I found a needle. He was doing heroin. He had a near death experience from some concoction. This did not scare him. We talked about him dying. April 12, 2012. I found him at 130p with a needle beside him . He had been dead for 12 hours. I was still screaming when the police arrived. His addiction caused me to file bankruptcy as I paid all of his medical bills out of pocket. I gave my house back as I could not live there. My 29 year old son and I moved. He was in the middle of finishing up his senior year at ASU finals no less. I have post traumatic stress syndrome. I would like to tell parents about a book and a support group for them if they have lost a child to overdose. Grasphelp.org. Grief Recovery after substance passing. There are parents all over the world. I have a friend In Iran who lost two boys to accidental overdose. The book is when a child dies from drugs. It is an easy read written by the parents who founded this group because drug overdose is a dirty subject. This book saved my life. Any parent that loses a child finds out there is a hell on earth for whatever reason they lost their child . We all joined a special club. My name is Melanie.
I am a Mother of a 23 year old Heroin addict. Please share this so that we can save someone. Please feel free to contact me. I am so sorry for your loss. The physical longing is so bad that I also wonder why I wake up each day. Thanks for reading my story. I have enclosed an article Journey thru grief. I hope it helps.