A part of me died, too
I lost my dad six weeks ago, on August 17. It still feels so raw as if it happened yesterday. I cry so hard every night I make myself sick. I cannot focus, I cannot think straight ... I miss him so much. Friends and coworkers are telling me I need to "move on" and "stop being sad." I feel I have started alienating myself from everyone, because I feel they do not understand. If they really understood the pain I am feeling, they would never tell me to "stop being sad." The only person I want to talk to and spend time with right now is the one person that is not here. I cannot hug or kiss him. People are telling me that we knew it was coming, his diabetes had been slowly killing him for years, so I should have been prepared. As prepared as you think you are, there is nothing you can do to really prepare for the pain and anguish that comes after it happens.
But everyone wants me to "snap out of it," "don't be depressed." I feel I am not as strong as everyone wants me to be ... my own life stopped that day. He was my rock, my hero ... and now he is gone. I do not know if and when I will ever be able to move on ...