A part of me died
My wife was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009. In 2012 she had no signs of cancer. However, an MRI in late 2013 revealed that there were spots on the liver and bones. This was the result of test 11/20. One day after our 19th anniversary. Intuitively, I began to research metastasized breast cancer to the liver. I realized at that point there was no cure. My wife and I went on with our lives and everything was normal. Late February of 2014 she became jaundiced. The most difficult thing in the world is knowing that she had little time to live. By mid-march she was bloated and had severe case of Pruritus. After a visit to the doctor and the suggestion of hospice, my wife became resolute that her life would soon be over. To have that talk with our kids son(24) and daughter (17) was one of the most difficult of my life. The most difficult being the day the doctor ask my wife what she was feeling. She stated that she'd not be there to see our daughter graduate from high school and go on to college. Cancer is the cruelest way for one to die. To watch someone you love die day by day is indescribable. My wife was very outgoing and popular. My wife was very active on school boards, community, and her sorority activities. She had a vey close relationship with our kids. Our daughter was her everything. On 3/28 I'd called the ambulance to take her to emergency because she was having trouble breathing. On 4/5/2014 my wife of 19 years passed away. We go on with everyday life because we have to. However, there is not an hour in the day that I don't recall the many doctor visits and conversations we had on the way home. The emptiness is unreal. It seems that when you hang out with friends I'm able to have moments of distraction. When I separate from them I feel that I go into another world alone. There is very little escape from the realizations of what is, what was, and what will never be. How do you replace the irreplaceable. My life will never be the same.