A pretty horse
I am mourning the loss of my horse which I had to give away to another home as I could no longer afford it. She now has more than I could ever dream of giving her and live in a beautiful luxurious stable. It might sound stupid to many, but she filled my life of happiness in a way I had never experienced before. I spent all of my free time at the barn, pampering her, mucking stalls, living in absolute inner peace and bliss. I was not a good rider and my horse and I were not a good match as riding companion. But she was a thing of pure and unequalled beauty. I would feel at peace just feeling her breath softly on my face. I would work at the barn to pay for classes and would arrive early in the morning and sometimes catch her sleeping in her stall. I honestly have been fascinated by her and just having the chance to watch her be in the paddocks was my inner peace.
She is now in a better place, but my life has unraveled. I have lost my life's purpose, or I never had but now I can feel this never ending emptiness. I use to be so busy and wanted to do so many things. Now, I am dead inside. I feel like I lost my baby. I know not everyone can understand, but this horse was like a child to me, something I will probably never experience, and I felt like a mother, constantly doing every thing so that this horse could have everything, working two jobs to pay the bills and living my life at the barn. I know I did the best for her and for me. I know I found the best place for her and she lives a very good life, far away from me. I just wish I could get over it. I see the logic; I just can put myself together and be myself again.