A pretty horse

I am mourning the loss of my horse which I had to give away to another home as I could no longer afford it. She now has more than I could ever dream of giving her and live in a beautiful luxurious stable. It might sound stupid to many, but she filled my life of happiness in a way I had never experienced before. I spent all of my free time at the barn, pampering her, mucking stalls, living in absolute inner peace and bliss. I was not a good rider and my horse and I were not a good match as riding companion. But she was a thing of pure and unequalled beauty. I would feel at peace just feeling her breath softly on my face. I would work at the barn to pay for classes and would arrive early in the morning and sometimes catch her sleeping in her stall. I honestly have been fascinated by her and just having the chance to watch her be in the paddocks was my inner peace.

She is now in a better place, but my life has unraveled. I have lost my life's purpose, or I never had but now I can feel this never ending emptiness. I use to be so busy and wanted to do so many things. Now, I am dead inside. I feel like I lost my baby. I know not everyone can understand, but this horse was like a child to me, something I will probably never experience, and I felt like a mother, constantly doing every thing so that this horse could have everything, working two jobs to pay the bills and living my life at the barn. I know I did the best for her and for me. I know I found the best place for her and she lives a very good life, far away from me. I just wish I could get over it. I see the logic; I just can put myself together and be myself again.

Comments for A pretty horse

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Nov 13, 2015
A pretty horse
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your horse to another home. You are still grieving what could have been should your circumstances be different and you could have kept your horse.
We nurture our pets so we feel we are their parent. To then lose them to another home hurts more because they are still out there and you can't see them or touch them. You have no contact and it can hurt for a long time. To lose a pet is a different type of grief and bonding and the impact of loss is severe.
I had a cage full of cockatiels and I loved each one as I cared for their needs. I bonded in a way I didn't expect. My husband then got cancer and I cared for him for 3yrs.39days before he died. I knew then I would never have that big aviary I dreamed of to give them a better life with more space to fly in. I watched them look depressed in the cage and I knew I had to do the right thing by giving them away for their better good and not mine. I focused on their importance and not mine. I was glad to be blessed with caring for them and I had the fond memories no one could take away from me. I had them forever. Sure I wonder how they are doing. I feel disappointed that I was not the one to care for them on going. I felt deprived of caring for them and seeing them every day. But in time I got to realize this was the best decision I made. they have a better life and it was meant to be. Often LOVING is part of giving up what we can't keep to gain what we can't lose. memories and experience.

Oct 19, 2015
A pretty horse,
by: Wonderwo01

I'm so sorry for you loss, be proud of yourself,It must have been a heart wrenching decision,you are a careing and unselfish person, you did what you had to do,which was your best for your horse, you have given her more,yet you are the one feeling the pain.
I know how this pain feels believe me but you will always have a place in your heart for her as she will for you xx.
Do you know where she is ? If her new guardians know how you feel i'm sure they wouldn't mind you keeping in touch or even visiting her once in a while.
That special bond between a horse and its owner never ceases,It will always stay with you, It will become less painfull as time goes on, be brave and let yourself feel the love you have for her knowing you have given her a great life and a comfortable future -thinking of you xx

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